In "The Sidehackers" (also known as Five the Hard Way (1969)), a motorcycle racer and a violent stunt rider start a war of vengeance against each other. Joel and the Bots write a song ... See full summary »



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Episode cast overview:
Joel Hodgson ...
Jim Mallon ...
Frank Conniff ...
Frank / Gooch
Nathan Molstead ...
Amy Kane ...


In "The Sidehackers" (also known as Five the Hard Way (1969)), a motorcycle racer and a violent stunt rider start a war of vengeance against each other. Joel and the Bots write a song inspired by the movie and chat with a few characters from the film on the Hexfield. Written by skillwithaquill

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madman | See All (1) »


Comedy | Sci-Fi





Release Date:

29 September 1990 (USA)  »

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Did You Know?


When the movie was selected, none of the writers had watched the entire thing. While writing for the episode, they saw the entire movie for the first time, including the graphic rape and murder scene halfway through. Shocked, the writers edited the entire scene out of the episode. After that, movies being considered for the show had to be watched in their entirety before they were selected. See more »


During the "Sidehackin'" song in one of the bridge skits, a blue screen is used to show footage from the movie in the background. Joel's blue jumpsuit bleeds into the movie footage. The footage also shows through the neck of Crow's blue guitar. See more »


Dr. Forrester: Well, Joel, this invention is based on the old slinky train toy I had as a kid. It allows me to be in two places at once, connected by the special bio-tube. Well, it's much too complicated; it would take a scientist to explain it, and I'm simply too mad. Well, what do you think, Joel?
Joel: Hey, you guys are always stealing my ideas!
Dr. Forrester: We're monitoring your mind, Joel. Besides, in space, no one can hear you sue!
See more »

Crazy Credits

Filmed in "Shadowramma" See more »


References Family Affair (1966) See more »


Written by The Brains and Michael J. Nelson
Performed by The Brains
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User Reviews

Only Love Pads The Film!
24 November 2014 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

Years ago, MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000) was the best TV show out there. And the concept was simple enough: A guy and two robots are stranded on a satellite and forced to watch terrible movies. Their solution? To riff on the cinematic train wrecks with comedic gusto. Something we've all done... admit it, you know who you are! SIDEHACKERS (AKA: FIVE THE HARD WAY) was a break from their usual sci-fi/ horror fodder. But it's no less bizarre. In the late 60s, biker movies were all the rage. Also in the late 60s, and continuing into the late 70s, there was a sub-genre called "Rough Justice". In these films, the anti-hero, a solitary character, was wronged by a group of ruffians. And so, the anti-hero would hunt down said ruffians and kill them in some morally questionable ways. For instance, think of: DEATH WISH, THE HILLS HAVE EYES, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE. Just to name a few. In SIDEHACKERS, stuntman-turned-actor Ross Hagen plays Rommel, a biker who competes in sidehacking. Basically, a race involving two people on one bike. He's engaged to Rita. And their love is pure and free, as evidenced by the syrupy sweet music. But wouldn't ya know, Rommel gets on the wrong side of JC (Michael Pataki, in his most psychotic role). He winds up getting badly beaten. But Rita is killed. Now, Rommel wants vengeance. He calls on several lowlifes to help carry out his revenge. Acting is, on the whole, good. Hagen, though, isn't much of an actor. There are some truly excruciating moments, like the dumb hick's rendition of the old "some can tell a joke, and some can't" joke. And the ending is a bleak cop out. My main complaint is with the misleading titles. Where's all the bike racing that the title "Sidehackers" would suggest? And what the heck does "Five The Hard Way" even mean? It sounds like the punchline to a dirty limerick. To the MST3K version, I give it 8 stars. On its on, the film earns a whopping 4.

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