Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)
Mike Nelson: Wow. No one's ever done an interpretive dance of Mein Kampf before!
Mike Nelson: You know the 14-year-olds who snuck in with the fake I.D.s have got to feel profoundly ripped off.
Woman: That's your idea of a big time? I should slave over a hot stove cooking for you?
Man: Why not?
Tom Servo: Well, he's got a point.
Woman: Who will do the dishes?
Man: Oh, I'll do the dishes.
[He tips his hat]
Mike Nelson: ...With my HAT!
Tom Servo: Dumb loser doesn't know how many dishes I have stacked up!
Crow: [noting the horrendous sound] Recorded on Edison's cylinder.
Mike Nelson: I didn't know that Edison wrote and recorded his own folk songs.
Tom Servo: You know, they used to put the microphone in a saltine box across the room.
Bobo: Now, Mike, I'm supposed to send you the movie entitled "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies" but, um, uh, you see, I, uh, I forgot how.
Mike Nelson: Oh, that's okay, Bobo. Don't bother on our account.
Crow: Yeah, let's skip it.
Observer: Oh, for the love of Heidegger. I'll take care of it, you addle-pated homunculus...
Bobo: All right, you cream-faced loon, I've had just about enough out of you.
[Bobo makes monkey noises]
Observer: Good-- good-- good God! What are you doing, man? That-- that-- that's disgusting!
Bobo: You don't know the half of it. How about a little game of catch?
Observer: What are you going to do with that? Oh no, no, you can't possibly...
Bobo: Start running, Casper!
Observer: Oh, no, please, I beg you! Owww ho-ho-ooogh!
Mike Nelson: Remind me to never cross Bobo. Well, we've got Movie Sign!
Mike Nelson: [on a song-and-dance number] They're white people... done up as Africans. In white face.
Madame Estrella: Take him and make him like my other little pets.
Tom Servo: So put him on a hamster wheel?
Tom Servo: I'm walking for Helping Children Through Research and Development.
Mike Nelson: Oh - HEPTRAD - I think I've heard of that group.
Tom Servo: No, actually, Helping Children Though Research and Development is the acronym. It stands for 'Hi Everyone, Let's Pitch In 'N Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right, Eh? Now Then. Hateful Rich Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors-d'ouvres, And Never Does Dishes. Eventually Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Nauesburger Tog.
Crow: [while being hypnotized] Our state fair is a great state fair...
Tom Servo: It's okay, I understand. So you killed some people. We all do it.
Mike Nelson: Sound? Are you getting this? Oh, never mind. We have a lot of other lines.
Tom Servo: [the main character throws a rock into the ocean] And he misses the ocean.
Mike Nelson: [taking note of the sound quality on the country song] This was digitally recorded, then erased, then RE-recorded on a Dictaphone.
Mike Nelson: Hi, everyone, Mike Nelson here on the Satellite of Love. It's Walk-A-Thon Season, and I'm being hit up by two competing groups. Gotta admire their energy. So, Crow, who are you doing it for again?
Pearl Forrester: All right, I am free! Good riddance, you little no-neck monsters. Blackjack table, here I come.