Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Invasion of the Neptune Men (1997)

Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot, Observer, Krankor

Quotes 

• [we see a record player running backwards] 

  Crow : Paul is a dead man! Miss him! Miss him!

• Crow T. Robot : [as the Neptune Man leader clenches his fists in anger]  I WANT MY RECORD!

• [At seeing a building with an image of Hitler on it blown up] 

  Crow : What? What!

  Tom Servo : They blew up the Hitler building! Where's everybody gonna go to see Hitler memorabilia?

  Crow : All the Hitler rides and games! The Hitler salt and pepper shakers!

  Mike Nelson : That great restaurant, "The Bunker"! It's gone, you son of a...

  Crow : You blew it up!

• Mike Nelson : You know, I wish the running would never stop. I mean it. I simply can't get enough shots of these kids running! Really! Literally, there is no limit to how much I wanna see of this!

  Crow T. Robot : Just a little sarcastic, maybe, Mike?

  Mike Nelson : Eh, just a touch, I guess.

• Crow : [discussing stock footage of a building with Hitler's likeness being blown up]  Say Mike, was there a Hitler building where you grew up?

  Mike Nelson : Not, um... No. No, no.

  Crow : Sure?

  Mike Nelson : No.

• Crow T. Robot : [as the kids flee in terror]  Take us away little shorts!

• Crow T. Robot : To be dead... to be nothing... to watch "Neptune Men" no more...

• Crow T. Robot : You know, maybe the Japanese didn't really know they were making a film per se. Maybe... maybe they thought there were working in a different medium. Like fabric sculpture, or something.

• Tom Servo : Hey, you know, Space Chief should really try going up into SPACE sometime.

  Crow T. Robot : Yeah, he's more like "Lower Atmosphere Chief."

  Mike Nelson : "Barely-Off-The-Stupid-Ground Chief."

• Tom Servo : Oragami!

  Mike Nelson : What?

  Tom Servo : Oragami's Japanese, right? I like Oragami. Well, maybe "like" is too strong a word. I mean, I don't mind it... Ah, Hell, I hate it. Folding paper is STUPID! STUPID!

  Crow T. Robot : You sure turned on that pretty quickly.

• Crow T. Robot : You know, I am starting to get a sense of Space Chief's ultimate vulnerability, though.

  Tom Servo : I think we're gonna hear a deft and poetic monologue from Space Chief about his loneliness.

• [during a lengthy shot of a radar screen] 

  Crow T. Robot : You know, not many movies can support a full minute of looking at a radar screen. For example, *this* one can't, at all.

• [Crow tries in vain to hurry along a tensionless scene:] 

  Launch Controller : Ten. Nine. Eight...

  Crow : Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. One.

  Launch Controller : Seven...

  Crow : One.

  Launch Controller : Six...

  Crow : One!

  Launch Controller : Five...

  Crow : ONE!

• Crow : To be dead... to be nothing... to watch "Neptune Men" no more...

• Crow : So, d - do either of you guys know any songs about stock footage that could get us through this?

  Tom Servo : Oh! I know a song about stock footage; goes like this: Bada-bada-da-da... EAT IT, MOVIE!

  Crow : Woah! Woah! Woah!

  Tom Servo : TAKE THIS STUPID LITTLE COCKROACH OF A FILM...

  Crow : Mike, Mike, Mike...? Get...

  Tom Servo : ROLL IT UP SOOOO TIGHT...

  Mike Nelson : All right...

  Tom Servo : AND RAM IT RIGHT UP...

  [starts sobbing] 

  Mike Nelson : [consoling Tom]  All right! All right, all right, it's okay, you're okay, it's all right.

• Mike Nelson : You know Krankor, I want you to leave.

  Krankor : Oh, do you? Well, you may be interested to know that I have already conquered your puny satellite and that you have no defense against me.

  Mike Nelson : Ahh.

  Krankor : [terrified]  : Oh, please don't hurt me. Don't hit, don't hit.