Catalina: [in Spanish, appearing as if she were telling Joy off] I want to take this moment to thank our Latino audience for watching. And for those of you who can understand me but who are not Latino, I want to commend you for learning a second language.
Catalina: You're going to a farm?
Earl: Shh, I'm not telling Randy, he's afraid of chickens... and the Pope's big hat, but mainly because he thinks there's a chicken under it.
Joy: [to Dodge and Earl Jr] You know what, y'all don't stop fighting, I swear to god I'll slap you so hard, you'll both switch colors
Joy: They are monsters Darnell! Those kids are monsters! They used my going-out lipstick to draw boobs on the car headlights again!
Randy: I'm sorry I burned down that barn, Earl.
Earl: I know you are. It's ok.
Joy: Oh my god. You two are a couple of fruits.
Darnell Turner: I think it's sweet.
Joy: Then why don't you all go and have a three way. Pack of fruitcakes.
[walks to kitchen]
Randy: I don't care what she thinks.
Earl: I don't either, Randy.
Joy: [offscreen] My god, I'm gonna vomit.
[as Catalina bandages Earl's hand after he accidentally drives a nail through it]
Catalina: There you go. Now do it to the other hand - I want to take you to my church and see all the old ladies cry.