- Mrs Raven: [on telephone] It's Northolt Health Centre here, Mrs Lucas. Your husband made an appointment to see Dr Crispin at four o'clock today, and it's now four thirty. Well, I was just wondering: is he thinking of popping along at all, or does he just fix up appointments as some sort of sick joke?
- Mrs Raven: I see. And when did the death occur?
- Mrs Raven: An hour ago. It didn't occur to you, I suppose, to phone up and cancel the appointment.
- Mrs Raven: It's all very well saying sorry now, but the damage is done.
- [hangs up]
- Mrs Raven: It's all self, self, self with some people!
- [first lines]
- Janet: Here we are, darling. This is your home for the next few days; yes, it is. Now, go and see Uncle Georgie; Uncle Georgie loves little doggies. Oh, George, come down off the table; it's only a dog.
- Mrs Raven: And another thing, what about the baby?
- Janet: What about the baby?
- Mrs Raven: Babies and pets, recipe for absolute disaster.
- Janet: Oh, really!
- Mrs Raven: First thing that the health visitor said to me when I had the triplets: "I'm sorry, Mrs Raven, but you're going to have to get rid of that python."
- Janet: That's a python.
- Mrs Raven: Hm, it was really hard when we had to part. I kept flushing, but it just would not go.
- Janet: [George has eaten the dog's food] It was horse-meat, George; you were eating *horse-meat*.
- George: You should get it more often; it was delicious.
- Janet: It's not fit for human consumption.
- George: I'm not human.
- Janet: Besides, we don't eat horses in this country. We ride horses. We have a special bond with them. So we don't eat them.
- George: You just chop them up so your dogs can eat them.
- Janet: Yes!
- [pause]
- Janet: There's no logic to it.
- George: You're telling me! 'Cause you love eating fish, but when I brought home those goldfish you refused to cook them.
- Janet: I know.
- George: And what about dog? Have you ever eaten dog?
- Janet: Well, of course I've never eaten dog!
- George: Well, you don't know what you're missing. I had one in China once. Yum-yum.
- Janet: George!
- George: No, that was his name.
- Janet: Why didn't you come to bed last night?
- George: I just thought you'd have another go at me.
- Janet: Yeah, I would've had another go at you; that's what I wanted. I'm a woman. When I'm cross I want to rant on and on making the same point again and again and again, and all you do is spoil things by keeping out of the way.
- George: Do you want a go at me now?
- Janet: No, I can't be bothered now, damn it!
- [last lines]
- Dog at Door: [barking, subtitled] Malcolm says you run a pet rescue service.