- Mrs. Lorelei Brown: [as Uncle Martin's stretcher is being wheeled to an awaiting ambulance] Now, just relax, Martin. You know, doctors can cure anything these days. I know because I watch television.
- Uncle Martin: Mars is in direct orbit, the skies are clear, I take off at dawn. "Parting is such sweet sorrow," Bill Shakespeare. I wrote that line for him.
- Uncle Martin: Why would a Martian want to defect to earth?
- Tim O'Hara: Elizabeth Taylor, Brigitte Bardot, and Sophia Loren.
- Uncle Martin: Baubles, mere baubles when you consider the beauties on Mars.