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(TV Series)

(1978)

Quotes

Alice Cooper: [talking to The Devil on a two way radio] Hello, Boss? No, no I didn't make a sale. Uh, listen do I get any commission on hourly rentals?

[flames shoot out of the radio in response]

Alice Cooper: Whoa, touchy!

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Kermit: [Alice Cooper is the guest star; candle is walking on his desk unaided] It wasn't this scary when Julie Andrews did the show.

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Sam the American Eagle: Mr. Cooper.

Alice Cooper: [turns abruptly to face him, wearing much goth make-up] Yes?

Sam the American Eagle: Oh, good grief! Let me come right to the point. You, sir, are a demented, sick, degenerate, barbaric, naughty freako!

Alice Cooper: [smiling] Why, thank you!

Sam the American Eagle: Freakos: One. Civilization: Zero.

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Scooter: [Alice Coper is in his dressing room surrounded by a group of demonic-looking characters] Uh, sir? I think there's something you should know.

Alice Cooper: Yes?

Scooter: These monsters aren't ours!

Alice Cooper: I know. They're mine!

[he and the monsters laugh, Scooter runs off yelling]

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The Great Gonzo: [offstage] This is the voice of doom!

Kermit: Sounds more like the voice of Gonzo.

[Gonzo appears in a cloud of smoke, holding a paper]

Kermit: Gonzo, is that the contract from the devil?

The Great Gonzo: No, Kermit, it's worse than that. This is the bill from special effects.

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Statler: So that was Alice Cooper?

Waldorf: You should see his sister James Fenimore.

[they both laugh]

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Kermit: William Tell act, onstage, let's go.

William Tell: D-d-d-don't sh-sh-sh-shout at me it m-makes me n-n-n-nervous!

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Sam the American Eagle: Mr. Cooper...

Alice Cooper: Yes?

[Sam loses composure for a second, then continues]

Sam the American Eagle: Let me come right to the point. You, sir, are a demented, sick, degenerate, barbaric, naughty, freako!

Alice Cooper: Why, thank you!

Sam the American Eagle: Freako's one, civilization zero.

[Alice licks finger, marks a score]

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Waldorf: What did you think of that?

Statler: Out of sight!

Waldorf: You mean you liked it?

Statler: No, it was out of sight. I had my eyes closed.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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