Kermit the Frog: Welcome to "The Muppet Show" where anything can happen! Unfortunately.
Statler: [responding to the Muppets performing "Cotton Fields"] I can remember when cotton was king.
Waldorf: You can remember when Arthur was king.
[after performing a frantic version of "Wild Thing" with his drum set, Animal gets dragged offstage with nets]
Waldorf: I wonder where they took him?
Statler: Well, wherever it is, I'll bet it's more fun than here.
Statler: [about the Muppet Labs segment] That was great, fantastic!
Waldorf: Meh, didn't like it.
Statler: Oh, what would you know, you old fool?
Waldorf: Don't call me an old fool, or I'll give you the evil eye!
Statler: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm scared! I'm scared!
[Waldorf stares at him with one eye bulging out, shocking him into submission]
Waldorf: [to the viewers] I warned him!