- Grandpa: Boy, I ain't kidding, there must be a lot of hanky panky goes on in that business!
- [Grandpa and Herman laugh heartily]
- Herman Munster: I just remembered. The hanky they'll be playing panky with is my wife!
- Herman Munster: [Grandpa hands Herman a 'Texas Playboy' pill] Why are the Texas pills so big?
- Grandpa: Well, only one eight is chemical, the rest is balloney.
- Lily Munster: Grandpa, how about you? Would you like to take me to the movies?
- Grandpa: Movies? What's playing?
- Lily Munster: 'The Killer Werewolf' and 'Vampires of Blood Alley'.
- Grandpa: Lily, I go to the movies for escapism. I don't wanna see every day people doing every day things.
- Marilyn Munster: Eddie, have seen your father and grandpa?
- Eddie Munster: Oh, they're down in the dungeon, working on something. It must be real neat, because when I knocked on the dungeon door, they told me to get lost! Do you suppose they're trying to figure out some way to keep mom from working?
- Marilyn Munster: [scornfully] Eddie, where did you hear about that? Some people have awfully large ears!
- Eddie Munster: Neat, isn't it?
- Irving: Mr. Brastoff, I have such news for you that I think I shall just to to pieces.
- Laszlo Brastoff: Irving, you're stealing my thunder!