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"Mork & Mindy" Mork Goes Erk (TV Episode 1979) Poster

(TV Series)

(1979)

Quotes

Susan: ERK teaches you how to love yourself.

Franklin Delano Bickley: I bet you got an A.

Susan: A+!

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Mindy McConnell: Mork, you've been acting awfully strange lately. I mean, more strange than usual.

Mork: Oh, you've noticed.

Mindy McConnell: Noticed! How could I help it? Like, yesterday you spent all day walking and talking backwards.

Mork: Well, that's all behind me now!

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Mindy McConnell: Mork, why are you doing all these strange things?

Mork: To cheer you up.

Mindy McConnell: But I'm not sad.

Mork: Well, you will be after you hear the news that I have to tell you.

Mindy McConnell: What news?

Mork: That I've got orders from Orson. I've been transferred to another planet and I'll never ever see you again.

Mindy McConnell: [sitting down in shock] What?

Mork: [bravely] Well. You've got to look at the good side. You're not losing an alien, you'll... you're gaining an empty room!

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Mork: You don't have to be sad on account of me.

Mindy McConnell: How can I help it? You're being sent off to some remote corner of the universe. I don't even know where.

Mork: It's not that far away. It's just the other side of the universe, and it's a Sigma 7 Galaxy. It's a troubled planet called Cirrhus.

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Mindy McConnell: Why would you want to leave here? Are you unhappy? Is it something I've done?

Mork: Oh, no. It's something you have. Emotions.

Mindy McConnell: That doesn't make sense.

Mork: Oh, yes, it does. See, one day I'm going to have to leave the Earth, and it's going to hurt you very much. And I've only been here a few months, and look how you feel. Imagine what it would be like after ten years. The longer I stay, the harder it'll be for you.

Mindy McConnell: Well, what about you?

Mork: [he gives a fake little laugh and deepens his voice] Me? The cosmic Charles Bronson?

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Franklin Delano Bickley: I was blaming it on you, but it's time I faced it. I've lost it.

Mork: Well, we can form a posse and find it, if you want!

Franklin Delano Bickley: [glares at him] No, it's no use. They say your sympathy is the first thing to go. I used to be able to get tears out of a coat rack. Not anymore. Listen to this: "Your pet rabbit died / Poor little Muffet! / Your two choices are: / Eat it or stuff it."

[Mork thinks a real rabbit has died]

Mork: Aw, that's sad!

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Mindy McConnell: Mr. Bickley, you're just going through a writer's slump. Mork is leaving for good!

Franklin Delano Bickley: Look, sister, Little Muffet ain't coming back, either.

Mork: Oh. None of us has a reason to be happy now.

Franklin Delano Bickley: [helping himself to their drinks] I'll drink to that.

[Susan bursts through the door, all smiles]

Susan: Knock, knock, knock!

[Her smile fades. Mork is slumped over, rubbing his ear. Mindy is slumped over, shading her eyes because of tears. Bickley is leaning on the counter, burying himself in a drink]

Susan: Well, what a group. Hear No Evil, See No Evil, and Feel No Pain. What's wrong with you people?

Franklin Delano Bickley: I've lost my talent.

Mindy McConnell: Mork is leaving.

Mork: The rabbit died.

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Susan: You people have got to get ERK!

Franklin Delano Bickley: You've been irking me since you came in.

Susan: Mindy, listen. ERK would help you with your depression. And Mr. Bickley, you know, you could use some help with your drinking.

Franklin Delano Bickley: I drink fine by myself.

Susan: Oh, and Mork, I bet he could come up with something for you.

Mork: Yeah. That sounds exciting. Come on, Mindy!

[taking her hands and leaping up]

Mork: Let's not poop the party!

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Susan: This is Ellsworth!

[Mork and Mindy stand up to shake hands, but Ellsworth ignores them]

Susan: Oh, Ellsworth, you know, we're so lucky to have a man like you, so unselfish - it's a special gift for...

Ellsworth: [interrupting her with a huge smile] Yes, excuse me, excuse me. Could you hold that thought just a moment?

Susan: [almost swooning toward him] Ohh, yes.

[Ellsworth, checkbook in hand, starts counting how many people are attending]

Ellsworth: Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Twenty bodies, twenty checks! Okay, we're all set.

[He puts his checkbook in his pocket]

Ellsworth: Now, what were you saying?

Mork: She was saying how nice it was that an unselfish man like you came all this way for a little thing like money!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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