Toastmaster:
Gentlemen, pray silence for the President of the Royal Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things.
Sir William:
Thank you, gentlemen. The year has been a good one for the society. This year, our members have put more things on top of other things than ever before. But I should warn you, this is no time for complacency. No, there are still many things, and I cannot emphasize this too strongly, *not on top of other things.* I myself, on my way here, saw a thing that was not on top of another thing in any way.
[
cries of "shame!']
Sir William:
Shame indeed. But we must not allow ourselves to become too despondent. For we must never forget that if there was not one thing that was not on top of another thing, our society would be nothing more than a meaningless body of men that had gathered together for no good purpose. But we flourish. This year our Australasian members and the various organisations affiliated to our Australasian branches put no fewer than twenty-two things on top of other things.
[
applause]
Sir William:
Well done all of you. But there is one cloud on the horizon. In this last year our Staffordshire branch has not succeeded in putting one thing on top of another.
[
more cries of "shame!]
Sir William:
Therefore I call upon our Staffordshire delegate to explain this weird behaviour.
Cutler:
[
timidly] Er, Cutler, Staffordshire. Um... well... Mr Chairman, it's just that most of the members in Staffordshire feel... the whole thing's a bit... silly.
[
cries of outrage]
[
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