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MUSEUM HEARTS is a silly little episode of the MONSTERS TV show,
although one of the gorier ones I've seen. It's another single location
story in which a trio of people (a guy, his wife, and his lover) are
trapped in a museum overnight. Somewhat inexplicably, they're trapped
with a preserved bog lady, who also seems to be a witch, and before
long supernatural shenanigans ensue.
This story seems to be a bizarre contemporary updating of Shakespeare's MACBETH, or at least the witches from MACBETH; there are even line readings from the play. It's all very slight and trivial, however, with overacting and pretty bad effects; the story is so overblown at times that you could mistake it for pantomime.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Monsters: Museum Hearts starts in the vault of a natural history museum
where ladies man Danny (Patrick Breen) is having his way with Cheryl
(Louise Roberts), the only problem is that Danny's fiancé Edwina (Sarah
Trigger) finds them. While arguing they are accidentally locked in the
vault, while trying to reach a skylight by standing on a crate Danny
jumps & falls through it. Inside the crate is a Irish Druid Priestess
named Cerridwen (Pamela Dean Kelly), Danny injures is leg & his blood
drips onto the corpse which starts to revive it. As the Druid comes
back to life she needs a new heart & enlists some help to get it...
Episode twelve from season two of Monsters this originally aired in the US during January 1990, written & directed by Theodore Gershuny this pretty good straight horror story gets season two of Monsters back on track nicely after two awful episodes in The Mandrake Root (1989) & Half as Old as Time (1989). There's no comedy here, no moral messages or bizarre fantasy & I would say Museum Hearts is just a short twenty odd minute horror film, it's maybe not got the best twist as it's a little predictable but as a whole it works. There's three quickly & well fleshed out character's, there's your typical horror film isolated location where they are cut off from the help, a zombified Irish Druid Priestess & some more than decent gore & make-up effects. What's not to like? Well, when all said & done there's not too much to it, I would have liked a little bit more thought in the twist ending & at only twenty odd minutes there's not that much time to develop the story & it felt like it finished just as it was starting.
The entire episode is set in a single location, Museum Hearts is well made with good production values & some nicely shot scenes that are well lit & give off that 80's horror film vibe. The special make-up effects are also very good, the zombie Druid looks good & there's some gore with a ripped-out heart on show. The acting is pretty good with Pamela Dean Kelly making her second appearance on the series after her role on Holly's House (1988) from season one.
Museum Hearts is a very good Monsters episode that isn't a classic since the story doesn't really go anywhere but for what it is it passes twenty odd minutes pleasantly enough.
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