Peter: Does he have an identification?
Micky: Yeah, his birthmark.
Peter: Does it have his adress on it?
Mike: If appleseed turns to wing, it will fly away a beautiful butterfly. But if a butterfly turns to appleseed, it'll just lay there, on the ground. That's what Ling Fu Yeng said, five thousand years agon.
Davy: Oh, really, what does that mean?
Mike: I just don't have any idea.
Prince Ludlow of Peruvia: I, I, I have come to your country to t-t-try and find a bride. U-under the terms of my nation's constitution, if I'm still unwed by my eighteenth birthday, eh, my throne passes to Count Myron.
Davy: That sounds crazy to me.
Prince Ludlow of Peruvia: I know, that's, that's what I told the producers.
Count Myron: While the people admire me, love me and esteem me, they do not trust me.
Count Myron: Now, in a few minutes, Miss Wendy Forsyth will arive to meet the prince. Somehow she took a liking to him when they met on the Riviera.
Max: But sire, they might marry!
Count Myron: I don't think so. I told her that he was sly, malicious, a pathalogical liar and a sadist.
Max: Yes, but what did you tell her was wrong with him?
Davy: But you're a great guy, Ludlow. You're witty, you're handsome, and you're tall.
Mike: Come on, Davy, you know you're mister Charm when it comes to girls.
Micky: Oh really, girls find him very sweet.
Peter: He makes their teeth decay.
Davy: You know, if Van Gogh had a girl like you, he'd still have both his ears.
Wendy Forsythe: May I see you again, Your Highness?
Davy: Oh, call me 'High'!
Prince Ludlow of Peruvia: I-I'm very, very hungry. Is, is there anything to eat in there?
Peter: Well, there's some, ah, Limburger cheese and a can of sardines and some liverwurst that's been here for two weeks. What'll I open first?
Prince Ludlow of Peruvia: How about the window?
Davy: The boy stood on the burning deck. He didn't he oughta. He took his shoes and stockins off and his feet were in the water
Davy: Suppose Ludlow doesn't show up on time. I might end up marrying a beautiful girl and ruining a nation of millions.
Count Myron: Throw the Prince into the dungeon.
Prince Ludlow of Peruvia: Wait! There's been something I wanted to tell you for a long time, Count Myron. You're a pompous windbag, a funk and a pony!
Micky: A funk and a pony?
Prince Ludlow of Peruvia: Mr. jailer, would you abandon your prince in a moment of need?
Micky: Hey, that Ludlow is doing alright. You know I can tell who's gonna wear the pants in that family.
Peter: With a figure like Wendy's I hope it's gonna be her.
Davy: I wasn't cut out to lead a double life, I can't even lead a single one.