Major Pshaw: I didn't spend ten years on this bloody island, looking for burried treasure to have some interloper steal it on me!
Thursday: Has it been ten years, sir?
Major Pshaw: Yes, ten years. But the only good day was that tuesday I hired you, Thursday. Yes, you're a magnificent man friday, Thursday. You've made every day a sunday, Thursday.
Peter: Would you repeat that?
Kimba Of The Jungle: Kretch!
Peter: He says that he's the original Kimba of the Jungle and that when the movie company ran out of money here on location in 1916 they left him here behind to rot.
Davy: What happened to the chick who played his wife?
Peter: She ran off with a casting director who promised her a big career.
Micky: What about the little kid that played er, the kid?
Peter: He's alive and well in Argentina.
Micky: You mean you got all that from... all he said was 'kretch'.
Peter: Well, it's not the word, it's the way he said it.
Leonard Sheldon: Hey kid, come here. Wanna see some real good pictures?
Peter: Oh! Hey, yeah, I'd love to. I haven't seen a real good picture since Carnival in Costa Rica with Dick Haymes and Vera-Ellen.
Leonard Sheldon: Leonard Sheldon is the name and big business is my game.
Peter: Parchisi is my game.
Davy: [dressed as a ship's commodore] If we hurry, men, we can destroy the Brittish at Trenton!
Micky: Davy, you are Brittish.
Micky: Hey, you know, if that was a rifle shot, then that means that somebody is on this island trying to kill us!
Davy: No, that wasn't a rifle shot, man. That, this is a deserted island! It was probable a car backfiring or something.
Mike: Oh, hello, we're the Monkees. Dr, Doctor Livingstone I presume?
Dr. Schwartzkov: No, Doctor Schwartzkov is the name, er, here's my card. Ja, I work on the island. I specialize in jungle fever, malaria, cold rash, baby delivery, appendectomy and sometimes I grow orchids on the side, what do you say, boys, my office is always here, come on by anytime, I got the bag and the whole thing if you want... to come by.
[the Monkees have long since moved on]
Thursday: [to a stock footage rattle snake] You dirty snake in the grass!
Micky: Wait! Our footprints. Great Scott, that means we're lost, we've been going around in circles!
Davy: Oh, Micky, Micky, it's a small set, man. We have to use the same place, you know, different bushes, trees.
Mike: Yeah, don't you remember, like the Lone Ranger and the big rock?
Davy: [to Thursday] Hey, didn't I see you in a Stewart Granger movie?
Davy: Where do we hide in the meantime?
Thursday: There's only one safe place.
Micky: Where's that?
Thursday: Well, I can't tell you now, that's in the next scene.
Kimba Of The Jungle: [reunited with his leading lady] We'll make beautiful pictures together again.
Mike: [walking by while the boys work on the outdoor backlot of Columbia Pictures] Buried treasure, that's sort of out of hand, Pete.
Davy: [walking by] Next thing you know, you'll be buying San Diego.
Peter: I turned San Diego down!
Micky: [walking by] Treasure map. That's one of the dumbest things you've ever done, Pete.
Peter: That's not fair, Micky.
Davy: Nah, that's not true, Micky. He's done dumber things than that. I know.
Peter: Thanks, man.