TV Interviewer: Doctor Turner, recently in our fair city, there have been many acts of violence commited right in the streets, in full view of people like yourself.
Dr. Lionel B. Turner: Disgusting.
TV Interviewer: They have just stood by and watch people be brutally attacked.
Dr. Lionel B. Turner: Deplorable.
TV Interviewer: What would, how do you feel about that?
Dr. Lionel B. Turner: Disgusting, it's each man's solemn duty to protect his fellow citizens.
TV Interviewer: And if you saw a fight, or a person being beaten, taking place right here...
Dr. Lionel B. Turner: I would involve myself physically. I would come in feet and fist flying!
Davy: [the Monkees pretend to be beating up Davy] Won't some innocent bystander please help me? How about you sir?
[points a finger at Turner, who screams and runs off]
Charles Russell: Monkees you say? Yes, there is something primitive about them, Vanessa.
Davy: I wanna help her.
Micky: Sure you wanna help. I wanna help Peter too, but I can't. He's a bird-brain.
Mike: Gentlemen, I have bad news. The firm of Vanessa Russel and Vanessa is failing rapidly.
Peter: Good heavens, we'll be wiped out!
Mike: If they catch us it means a life sentence!
Micky: I'm not going back in that hole!
Davy: You dirty rotten screw!
Peter: You'll never get us alive!
Micky: Come and get us law, come and get us!
Mike: Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. I regret to inform you that Norway has just declared war on Sweden and all Swedish nationals are to report to their embassy.
Interviewer: Davy, what bag are you in?
Davy: What what?
Interviewer: What bag are you in?
Davy: Bag? I don't get that?
Interviewer: Well let me ask you something, I mean like, do you make a folk sound or a rock sound or anything like that?
Davy: I make a terrible sound.
Interviewer: Mike, let me ask you a question, seriously now. Why do you do this kind of business?
Mike: What's that?
Interviewer: Play the music.
Mike: Well I, I mean...
Interviewer: How did you get to?
Mike: Why do they call that a light, I don't know, that's just where it's at.
Interviewer: Mike, let me ask you something. Do you think you can play another part?
Mike: What part is that. What would you like me to be... strong and silent?
Interviewer: Yeah, strong and silent.
[Mike pulls a face]
Interviewer: Hey well, well, now be a girl
[Mike pulls the same face]
Interviewer: Mike, there the same thing.
Mike: Well, that's your hang up, man. I mean, I know where it's at.
Interviewer: Where you ever a strong, silent girl before?
Mike: Now if you ever ask that...