Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale (2002)

Bitty Schram: Sharona Fleming

Quotes 

• Biederbeck : There's not a prison in the country that can hold me!

  Adrian Monk : There are very few shopping malls that can hold you. But nonetheless, we're gonna give it a try.

  Biederbeck : [enraged]  YOU...! YOU...!

  [reaches out in an attempt to strangle Monk] 

  Sharona Fleming : What's he doing?

  Adrian Monk : [leaning in closer to Dale, staying just out of reach]  I think he's trying to kill me.

  [Dale finally gives up, flopping back on the bed in exhaustion] 

  Adrian Monk : Wasn't really much of a fight, was it?

• Sharona Fleming : Don't you ever wonder why you don't get invited anywhere?

  Adrian Monk : No, not really...

• Sharona Fleming : Do you know who asked me out? I'll give you a hint. He's a doctor.

  Adrian Monk : Kevorkian?

  Sharona Fleming : Very funny.

• Sharona Fleming : Adrian, can I ask you something? If it's none of my buisiness, I promise I'll shut up.

  Adrian Monk : [smiling]  I doubt it.

  Sharona Fleming : What did Trudy mean by 'bread and butter?'

  Adrian Monk : Whenever Trudy and I were walking somewhere, we would hold hands, and if there was a lamp post or somebody walked between us and we had to let go for a second, she'd always say 'bread and butter'.

  Sharona Fleming : So when she died...

  Adrian Monk : Yeah, I think it was a message for me. She was saying, "I have to let go now for a little while, but it won't be forever."

• Sharona Fleming : [referring to Dale 'the Whale' Biederbeck]  In case you're wondering, YES, he really is that fat, okay? He's ORCA! He's horrific!

• Sharona Fleming : [referring to Dale 'the Whale' Biederbeck]  I never heard of him.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : He spends a fortune every year making sure nobody ever hears of him. He buys newspapers just to keep his name out of them.

• Biederbeck : [referring to Monk]  Hey, did he tell you about his wife and me?

  Sharona Fleming : I know all about it.

  Biederbeck : No, you don't. He didn't tell you. He's too ashamed. See, nine years ago, his beloved Trudy wrote a piece on me in which she said I was, 'the Genghis Khan of world finance.' So I sued her and the rag that published the piece. Now, I knew I couldn't win, but I dragged things on long enough that eventually Mr. and Mrs. Monk had to sell everything. Even that cute little starter house they lived in. You know who owns it now?

  Sharona Fleming : You.

  Biederbeck : Mm-hmm. I use it to store my pornography collection. Which reminds me, are you interested in earning a little extra money?

• Sharona Fleming : Adrian, this is what normal people do on a Sunday morning.

  Benjy Fleming : Mom, we're not exactly normal.

  Sharona Fleming : We are compared to some people.

  [glances at Monk] 

• Adrian Monk : I know Biederbeck; you don't. He's dangerous. This man is capable of anything.

  Sharona Fleming : He weighs eight hundred and four pounds. What is he going to do, break wind on me?

• Sharona Fleming : [to Sue Ellen]  This is my friend, Mr. Monk. He just wants to ask you a couple of questions about what you saw the night that the judge was, umm...

  Sue Ellen : Brutally slain.

• Sharona Fleming : What kind of dog is that?

  [she reaches across Biederbeck's stomach to feel it] 

  Biederbeck : Now, sweetheart, if you want to feel my stomach, all you have to do is ask.

  Sharona Fleming : I wasn't...

  Biederbeck : Of course you were! You're wondering what they're all wondering. "My God, can he really be that big?" Let's find out, shall we?

  [lifting the front of his pajamas] 

  Biederbeck : Totally al fresco!