Per the title, Dear Abby is one of American's most popular advice columns started in 1956 by Pauline Phillips under Abigail Van Buren, and carried on in 2008 by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips. See more
Wilbur, why don't we write a letter to Dear Abby? She could give us advice on what I should do.
Okay, we'll write Dear Abby. How's this? "Dear Abby, my horse told me that he wants to leave home and have his own swinging bachelor apartment. Do you think he's right? Signed, Butterfly Net." Because that's exactly what they'll throw over me.
You don't have to say your horse told you. Tell her it was your cat.