Michael Anthony: [Anthony enters the office of the Friendly Finance Company and walks up to the reception desk. After being ignored, he clears his throat] I'm looking for Mr. Philip Sargent.
Philip Sargent: Why, I'm Philip Sargent, but I'm sure that...
Michael Anthony: My name is Michael Anthony.
Philip Sargent: Mr. Anthony, I don't know why you want to see me especially. I'm sure that any of our friendly advisors...
Michael Anthony: I think our transaction can be concluded very quickly.
Philip Sargent: Okay. How much is it?
Michael Anthony: How much? It's a million dollars.
Philip Sargent: Well, do you have sufficient collateral?
[Stops]
Philip Sargent: A million dollars?
Michael Anthony: Yes, sir.
Philip Sargent: Mr. Anthony, to borrow a million dollars, you would need a railroad for security, or a steel company or an airline or maybe all of them combined.
Michael Anthony: I'm not here to borrow a million dollars from you. I'm here to give a million dollars to you.
Philip Sargent: What finance company are you from?
Michael Anthony: [Retrieving a document from his briefcase] It's not a loan, Mr. Sargent. It's a gift.
[Anthony hands a check to Sargent]
Philip Sargent: Well, that's made out to me.
Michael Anthony: That's right.
Philip Sargent: One million dollars.
[Spelling out]
Philip Sargent: One, zero, zero, zero, comma, zero, zero, zero.
Michael Anthony: [Presenting another paper] Please sign this. It's a pledge never to reveal where or how you got this money. If you do, whatever money you have left will be reclaimed on behalf of the donor.
Philip Sargent: A million clams!
Michael Anthony: I might add, tax free.
Philip Sargent: Okay, Mr. Anthony, who put you up to this? The fellows in the office? It's a pretty bum gag on a man's wedding day.
Michael Anthony: You're wedding day?
[Shakes hands with Sargent]
Michael Anthony: Well, congratulations, Mr. Sargent! Of course, you may tell your wife about this money after the ceremony, not before.
Philip Sargent: By that time, the joke will be over.
Michael Anthony: Mr. Sargent, I detect a note of skepticism. If you look closely
[Sargent does]
Michael Anthony: , you'll see it's a cashier's check. The quickest way to establish that this is not a practical joke would be for you to go to the bank and cash it.
Philip Sargent: Cash it? Cash a check for a million dollars?
Michael Anthony: Well, I suggest that you take only a small amount of the cash with you - say, ah, forty or fifty thousand dollars. Just enough to tide you over for a while.
Philip Sargent: Oh, sure - forty or fifty thousand dollars. You know, Mr. Anthony, if did I walk out of the bank with that much money, it might convince me at that.
[Anthony hands him a pen]