Midsomer Murders (TV Series)

Who Killed Cock Robin? (2001)

John Nettles: DCI Tom Barnaby

Quotes 

• DCI Tom Barnaby : Last I heard you were living the life of Riley down in Costa Blanca.

  Melvyn Stockard : Yeah, well, it's amazing what a triple bypass operation will do for a man's view of himself.

• Joyce Barnaby : [arriving at Stockard's house]  Oh, Tom, if only you could afford all this. And the lovely senorita to go with it.

  DCI Tom Barnaby : Now, behave.

• [last lines] 

  Joyce Barnaby : Do you know I feel sorry for him. All this, and three beautiful women, who I'm sure he loves in his way.

  DCI Tom Barnaby : And to think, I only have two.

• Melvyn Stockard : With murder you start with motive and opportunity. Am I right, Tom?

  DCI Tom Barnaby : That is usually the way round of it, yeah, Melvyn.

  Melvyn Stockard : And in this village there is a person with an abundance of both, though it grieves me to say since he was about to become family.

  Julie Stockard : No! You can't just accuse him.

  Melvyn Stockard : I'm not accusing anyone, sweetheart. That's Barnaby's job. And the sooner he gets his skates on, the better for all concerned.

• Dr. Bullard : Odd for a man catching a flight not to be wearing a watch. Just a thought.

  DCI Tom Barnaby : It's a good one.

• DCI Tom Barnaby : Oh, she brought him home, did she?

  Bubbles Stockard : Oh yes. We've all been out dancing.

  [chuckles] 

  Bubbles Stockard : Of course, I know what Mel thinks. Farm trash. Where did he come from? Guttersnipe.

  [pause] 

  Bubbles Stockard : How's he doing? Lording it, I'm told. You know, I'm trying to divorce the old swine and get some money out of him, but I can't get him on adultery. He's got medical certificates. Since his triple bypass, the poor old sod can't manage it.

• Melvyn Stockard : Have you got kids?

  DCI Tom Barnaby : Yes, a daughter. She's a picture, too.

  Melvyn Stockard : They break your heart, don't they?

  DCI Tom Barnaby : Oh, you can say that I... I've been lucky so far.

  Melvyn Stockard : You give them everything and they break your bloody heart.

• DCI Tom Barnaby : Melvyn, I've spoken to Bubbles.

  Melvyn Stockard : Oh, really?

  DCI Tom Barnaby : I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties.

  Melvyn Stockard : Yeah, well, uh... there are many ways of pleasing a woman, Barnaby. Didn't you know?

• DCI Tom Barnaby : You failed to report a traffic accident.