Jake Hanson: You know what they say, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
Sandy Louise Harling: That's absence.
Jake Hanson: Whatever.
Matt Fielding: [about Billy's screenplay] I take it it's not a comedy.
Allison Parker: Not intentionally.
Sandy Louise Harling: Who do you think you are, Mrs. Marcus Welby?
Jane Andrews Mancini: Marcus Welby was a widower.
Sandy Louise Harling: See? You might as well be dead!
Steve Sanders: All I'm saying is I think you're headed for a serious heartbreak with this guy, Kelly.
David Silver: Look, I heard this thing on the love lines about guys with wounded souls who attract women who think they can heal them, only it's the women who end up wounded.
Kelly Taylor: Look, you don't understand. Jake is just going through a bad time right now.
Steve Sanders: Oh, like that guy down in the unemployment line that Jake clobbered?
Kelly Taylor: Look, he just needs me on his side, to be there for him.
David Silver: Well, I think he gets the idea. I mean, you call him five times a day, and of course, he never answers.
Kelly Taylor: David, shut up. It's none of your business.
David Silver: I'm your brother.
Kelly Taylor: Stepbrother.
David Silver: Whatever.
Billy Campbell: You look good, kitten. Real good.
Blonde: And when I'm bad, I'm just the way you like it.
Billy Campbell: You know the problem with you, Allison? You have no taste, just like your casserole.
Allison Parker: That's great. Don't eat it.