- Bart Maverick: Now you leave that bottle ashore.
- Doc Holliday: What if I swallow some of that water? I'm gonna need an antidote.
- Jonesy: Well, Good morning, Miss Porter. Good morning, Miss Porter.
- Jeanie Porter: Why two good mornings?
- Jonesy: Oh, just being polite. One for each face.
- [last lines]
- Doc Holliday: What do you suppose the moral is to all this?
- Bart Maverick: Doc, I wouldn't know a moral if I fell over it. But I do have a caption for this picture.
- Doc Holliday: Um, what's that?
- Bart Maverick: Having lots of laughs in the Ivy League wing of the Porterville Prison.