- Maude Findlay: I'm as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers. Don't look at me, I heard it on The Dean Martin Show.
- Carol Traynor: She's as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers. What? I just thought it was my turn.
- Dr. Arthur Harmon: That's a good joke. I heard it on Sonny and Cher.
- Maude Findlay: How can I have a party for a black guest of honor and not have one single black guest?
- Carol Traynor: Maybe you should've invited two black couples, Maude.
- Walter Findlay: That's right, Maude, you should always have a back-up black.
- Maude Findlay: [Skyward] Please, if you really do exist, get him soon.
- Maude Findlay: [drunk] You really want to know? "Who is Mrs. Dubonay?" You ask? Well I have a better question, Arthur Harmon, who is you? Who is any of us?
- [breaking into song]
- Maude Findlay: "Whooooooooooo is Syyyyylvia..."
- Maude Findlay: Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. Dubonay is a visitor from a far-off land. She is a proud native of a newly emerging black nation.
- Florida Evans: Yeah, Harlem.
- Walter Findlay: Maude's as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.
- Carol Traynor: That doesn't sound like you, Walter.
- Walter Findlay: I heard that on Hee Haw.