Martin (TV Series)

Boyz 'R Us (1992)

Martin Lawrence: Martin Payne, Edna 'Mama' Payne, King Beef

Photos 

Quotes 

• Martin Payne : Fellas, I wanna talk about women and money. Did you ever notice, like, around payday, your check becomes our check? Your lady says stuff like, "When do we get paid?" And..."Did we already put our check in the bank?" And I'm thinking, "There's a lot of 'we we' going on here. When did you start speaking French?" So think about it. When your lady starts speaking French, start speaking Spanish - "Adios!"

• Thomas Strawn : Hey, Martin, you think Peter Pan was gay, man? You know, hanging up in the tree with all them Lost Boys?

  Martin Payne : The man had a girl. Tinkerbell, man.

  Thomas Strawn : Yeah, but Tinker was only this tiny thing.

  Martin Payne : Yeah, but most of that was butt, man. Pow! Tinker was like that! Ha-ha!

• Gina Waters : Okay, this how we play, when I ask a question, you just answer it honestly, okay? That means everybody.

  Martin Payne : I'm gonna do the honest thing, girl!

  Gina Waters : Alright. Question number one - "Would you date someone who was 40lbs. overweight?"

  Martin Payne : Nah. Nah. No. No. I got to breathe , baby.

  [act like he's suffocating] 

  Pamela 'Pam' James : I would. I mean, as long as 20 of it was in his wallet.

  Cole Brown : Uh, sure. 40lbs. overweight means baby can cook.

  Pamela 'Pam' James : Next question: "If you were married and shipwrecked on a desert island with a beautiful stranger, would you make love to them?"

  Cole Brown : Whew, Mary Ann and Ginger? Yeah! But not that Mrs. Howell.

  Gina Waters : Martin?

  Martin Payne : Come on, baby, I would die making love to a coconut before I'd cheat on you.

  Gina Waters : Next question: "Would you date someone who was of a different race than yourself?"

  Cole Brown : It don't matter what race she is. We all black when the lights go out.

  Thomas Strawn : Well, I don't know. My mama always told me, "If she can't use your comb, don't bring her home."

  Cole Brown : Wait a minute. Tommy, you were dating a white girl in college.

  Thomas Strawn : No, she wasn't white! She was French!

• Pamela 'Pam' James : Look, Martin, if money is power, then you ain't got none, 'cause, see, Gina makes a whole lot more more money than you do anyway.

  Martin Payne : [shocked]  When did you start making more money than me?

  Thomas Strawn : Don't go there , brother.

• Martin Payne : Yo, check this out, everyone knows that Gina makes more money than me, man.

  Stan Winters : So what's the problem, man? You know, you got a woman supporting you. Kick back, relax and spend her dough, man. Shucks, I've been looking for a girl like this for years. I got close once, but she died before I could get the papers signed. 6 months pushing wheelchairs for nothing.

  Martin Payne : Stan, that's cold, man.

  Stan Winters : No, it's not. What's cold is I'm going after her mother next week!

• Evelyn : [trying break-up a fight between Edna and Mattie]  Now, Ladies, can't we act our age here?

  Edna 'Mama' Payne : Evelyn, if we acted our age , you'd be dead!