[Al is on trial for assault]
Kelly: Your Honor, I'm here to defend my daddy. D is for daddy. A... is for daddy. D is for daddy, Y is for daddy, I is for daddy, WE is for daddy. The defense breasts!
Al: Uh, Your Honor, if there is a valid lawsuit here, it should be Bundy vs. the Board of Education, because she actually graduated high school!
Al: Yes, yes, yes, I am an American hero. And in the grand tradition of American heroes, I will hawk more products than Bill Cosby... when he was hot.
Al: Oh hello, Officer, did you mistake our house for a donut shop?
Officer Dan: Obviously not. There's only one of me.