Al: Son, always remember the Bundy Credo. Lie when your wife is waking. Lie when your belly's aching. Lie when you know she's faking. Lie, sell shoes and lie.
Bud: That's really our family credo?
Al: No. No, actually our family credo is: Hooters, Hooters, yum, yum, yum. Hooters, Hooters on a girl that's dumb.
Al: You know, Peg, you look really good tonight.
Peggy: How many beers have you had tonight, Al?
Peggy: So, I guess you're about a six-pack away from sex.
Al: At least.
Bud: She really didn't tell you anything?
Bud: I mean, not even that this guy was the best she ever had? That he was good? Or at least even better than a really tight pair of pants?
Jimmy: Nah, she said he really wasn't worth mentioning.
Bud: That bitch!