- [Kelly is having her period during the Bundy's vacation]
- Al: Peg?
- Peggy Bundy: Well, it's her time of the month, Al.
- Al: What the hell did we bring her for, then?
- Bud Bundy: Squeaked through another month, eh, Kel?
- Al: [Peg, Marcy and Kelly are menstruating] All three at once? What do they do, give it to each other?
- Marcy Rhoades: I hate the way they won't ask for directions when they're lost.
- Peggy Bundy: And the way they leave the toilet seat up.
- Kelly Bundy: And the way they ask you to chip in for a motel room... so I've heard.
- Steve Rhoades: Marcy, let's talk.
- Marcy Rhoades: Fine. Let's talk about 14 months ago when I wanted to see that movie and you were too tired. And about the time you wore that gray sweater. I hate that sweater. I hate you, Steve, everything about you, every breath you take, every move you make. You sir, stink!
- [starts crying]
- Marcy Rhoades: I feel so bloated and so ugly. See how mean he is to me, Peg.
- Al Bundy: Be thankful your's just kills. It's quick. It's clean. Mine, like the black widow, wants to mate before it kills.
- Kelly Bundy: I'm so bloated, even my teeth are swollen.
- Marcy Rhoades: If I retain any more water in my body, they could build a pier across my butt.
- Kelly Bundy: Oh, I need a back rub.
- Marcy Rhoades: I need a foot rub.
- Peggy Bundy: I need someone to yell at. Where are the men?
- Marcy Rhoades: I bet they went fishing.
- Peggy Bundy: Isn't that just like men. Whenever we need them most, they're never around. Men are the lowest.
- Kelly Bundy: Let's pretend Bud's a man and kill him.
- Al Bundy: You know why they're doing this to us, don't you Steve? It's because we were gonna have fun. That's why they invented this period thing.