Married... with Children (TV Series)

She's Having a Baby: Part 2 (1991)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : [on Peg's pregnancy]  God, I feel like Exxon. One spill, I'm paying for it the rest of my life!

• Bartender : So, where you headed, pal?

  Al : Oh, I don't know, some place where there's a lot of girls and no women.

  Bartender : Oh, L.A.!

• Al : Kelly's stupid not because we didn't have a wave machine back then. It's because your parents were brother and sister!

  Peggy Bundy : My parents are not brother and sister. They just started to look alike after Mom's hair fell out.

• Al : Miss, how much for a ID of an ex-pro football player with a cool nickname?

  Girl Vendor : 200 dollars.

  Al : Well, what can I get for a buck?

  Girl Vendor : A shoe salesman named 'Al'.

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Al, listen, I'm already done with the first trimester. Now what if what's left is all good, and we miss out on it?

  Al : [laughing]  You know, I'm finally starting to understand how she got you. Let me explain something to you. There is no such thing as a trimester. There's actually just one long forty year-mester. Except when they're pregnant, you get what I call the mini-mester. You've got your fat-mester and your puke-mester, and lord in heaven, you got your horny-mester.

  Bartender : [lifts his glass]  That's when I left.

• [a pregnant Peggy is sitting up in bed and wolfing down food] 

  Peggy : Gee Al, I don't know about you, but I'm horny as hell.

  Al : Well, so am I, but you don't see me bothering you with it, do you?

• Al : God, what a great place. I mean, it's genius! A bar hooked up to the public address system at the bus terminal, so you don't miss your connection for leaving your wife!

  Bartender : Hey, don't forget about the cheap bimbos. They give the place class!

• Jefferson D'Arcy : So Al, where are you gonna go to?

  Al : Somewhere where shoe men run wild and free in the big sky Where never is heard an impregnated word, and the hooters are uncovered all day.

• Al : Going to L.A. Gonna be the big white hooter hunter.

• Al : Take for example, the Rifleman. He knew not to hang out with his wife. You know, I always suspected that's who he was blowing to smithereens before the start of each show.