- Bud Bundy: [writing a letter] Dear Starla, How are things in solitary? Is it true that they throw you in the hole, naked? Anxiously awaiting your reply, Bud.
- Peggy Bundy: Are you okay?
- Kelly Bundy: I think so. I mean, I'm gonna miss Lonnie, but at least I have something that will always remind me of him.
- Al Bundy: A $10,000 wedding debt?
- Kelly Bundy: No Daddy, that's yours. I've got this.
- [shows the diamond ring she still is wearing]
- Kelly Bundy: And of course, my loved ones to console me.
- Bud Bundy: We're here for you, Kel.
- Kelly Bundy: Not you.
- [Kelly runs and stands in front of her former boyfriends]
- Kelly Bundy: Them.
- Peggy Bundy: Now Kelly, honey, on this very special occasion, I want you to wear the dress that I wore on the happiest day of my life. Unfortunately, the football team kept it.
- Al: Now let me tell you something. We Bundys may have our faults, but we believe that marriage should be forever, no matter how pitiful or disgusting it may be to wake up to the same horrifying face each day. That's what the marriage vows are all about. And anyone who can't stand the nagging, bonbon-eating heat should stay out of the whining, sex-starved kitchen.
- Kelly Bundy: Hey Mom, you see that shade of blue that Dad's turning? Don't you think that would be a good color for the bridesmaid's dresses?
- Peggy Bundy: Actually, I was thinking a little more purpley... there, that's it!
- Peggy: [to Kelly] On this very special occasion I want you to wear the dress that I wore on the happiest day of my life. Unfortunately, the football team kept it.