Married... with Children (TV Series)

Honey, I Blew Up Myself (1994)

Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Aaron : So, how much do you think you owe this store in commission?

  Al Bundy : [laughs]  I'm not selling shoes for the money, Aaron. I'm in it to torture fat women. Where have you been?

  Aaron : To buy you a birthday present. Here.

  [Al takes the gift and opens it to reveal a VHS video tape] 

  Aaron : It's Hot Dog, the Movie.

  Al Bundy : I prefer hot dog, the "Hot DOG".

  [Al tosses the tape into a wastebasket] 

  Aaron : Hey, don't do that. That tape's due back at the video store at 10 o'clock tomorrow.

  Al Bundy : Yeah, I know how it feels. At least you didn't sing "Happy Birthday" to me, I HATE THAT! Nothing to do but stand there looking like an idiot until the damn thing is finished. I hope I can get through the day without someone singing "Happy Birthday" to me.

  [Jefferson enters] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [singing]  Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Al. Hap-p-p-py Birthday to yooou!

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Actually, Marcy wanted to wish that you get caught downwind from your own feet and die.

• Aaron : But I don't understand; both of you guys are married. Can't you just look at your wives topless?

  Al Bundy , Jefferson D'Arcy : Have you seen his wife?