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"Married with Children" Dial B for Virgin (TV Episode 1994) Poster

Quotes

Peggy: I can't believe you still have that car.

Al: I can't believe I still have you.

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Al: [Reading off names of dirty movies] Schindler's Lust, Booty and the Beast, and my favorite, Forrest Hump.

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Peggy: Hey Al, I found one. It's called Like Water for Chocolate, it's a love story.

Al: What a coincidence, Peg, I found a love story too: Mrs. Assfire.

Peggy: Water.

Al: Fire.

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Bud: Hello, you're on the Virgin Hotline. This is your counselor... Eugene.

Kelly: [On phone] Hi, my name is Isis J. Blowupdoll. And my boyfriend, Bud, hasn't been able to keep his hands off me ever since I came out of the box. Now, should I try to stay firm or just explode and go to pieces?

Bud: Yeah, very funny, Kel. Don't let me keep you, I'm sure the trucker paid for the WHOLE hour.

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Peggy: You haven't liked a single movie I've selected.

Al: That's because they all suck.

Peggy: Fried Green Tomatoes sucks?

All the men: Yes.

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Clerk: Here are the videos we've held for you: Silence of the Loins and The Joy Slut Club.

Marcy: Um, I'm going to take them home... to erase them.

Clerk: Shall I charge it to your house account?

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Peggy: Dieselhead. A man and a monster truck exchange brains?

Al: Like Emilio Estevez would make a bad movie?

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Peggy: Oh, how about this: Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Al: That's kinda like five of the same thing, isn't it? Hey. How about...

[shows the case to Peggy]

Al: Wrestlemania Bloopers.

Peggy: You could have taped our honeymoon for that.

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Bud: Dad. I got a problem.

[sits on the couch with Al]

Bud: I, er, I did something really stupid.

Al: Oh, Son. You didn't... marry, did you?

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Al: Oh oh oh, no. That's why we have cable, Peg. You can see the best and never leave your house...

[switches on the TV]

Al: watch.

TV Announcer: Tonight: Tom Selleck in Mr. Baseball. Then John Goodman is King Ralph. But first, Wings.

Al: I'll drive.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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