Married... with Children (TV Series)

'Tis Time to Smell the Roses (1993)

Susan Peretz: Ms. Blaub

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Al is at an employment office talking with the super-obese social worker ironically named Ms. Blaub] 

  Al Bundy : And so, uh, Miss, uh... Blaub.

  Ms. Blaub : "Ms." Blaub.

  Al Bundy : Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, uh, your name was partially obscured by some, uh... errant flesh. Uh, as I was saying, I-I'm just not going to take anything, unlike you at a buffet. So, um, uh, what do you have for me?

  Ms. Blaub : Some Mennen Speed Stick in my desk?

  Al Bundy : Well, uh, let me give you a little tip: it goes under your arms... if you can ever get them horizontal.

• Ms. Blaub : Did you go to high school?

  Al Bundy : Polk High. And while I find you fat and repulsive, I'll gladly regale you with tales of my four touchdowns in one game.

  Ms. Blaub : [sarcastic]  Oh, how rare it is to have someone who played high school football in an employment office.

  Al Bundy : Look, Blob...

  Ms. Blaub : Blaub!

  Al Bundy : I know your name. It was a... descriptive term. Now look, I'm putting myself in your sweaty, bloated hands. I'm looking for a career, not just a job. You know, like a... a doctor or a guy who plays with hooters all day.

  Ms. Blaub : That would be an anesthesiologist.

• Ms. Blaub : Well, don't worry, I think we have something perfect for a man with your qualifications. Tell me, do you have any skills?

  Al Bundy : Well, I'm, uh, naturally inquisitive. Um, for instance, I'm wondering, uh, just how strong that chair is you're sitting in.

• Ms. Blaub : [to Al]  Well, I can see that you are a real people person, so let's get you the hell out of here as quickly as possible. How many years of college did you have?

  [laughs hysterically] 

  Ms. Blaub : I was just entertaining myself!