- Lois: [coaching Malcolm on the Lucky Aide softball team] OK, remember. It's hips, then shoulders. It's just like that little dance you used to do in your underpants.
- Stephanie: [later, the daughter of one of the softball players teases Malcolm] So, can I see the underwear dance?
- Malcolm: Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you... Would you?
- Stephanie: Slow down, we haven't even kissed yet.
- Lois: [Lois wants Malcolm on the practice field] Malcolm, let's go. We've got to get to your zit doctor before five o'clock.
- Malcolm: [mortified] Mom!
- Lois: What? Awhh, your friend doesn't care about that. Look at her face. She probably goes to the same doctor.
- Craig Feldspar: Hey, Lois, you signin' up for softball?
- Lois: I don't need to sign up, Craig, I'm coaching the team this year.
- Craig Feldspar: You are?
- Lois: Yes. Stu was gonna do it, but his wife got born-again and ruined his Sundays.