Hal: When you tip the valet always fold your dollar up real tight, that way, by the time he sees what he's got, you're down the block!
Malcolm: Can I have the potatoes?
Hal: You can have anything you want son if you're willing to work for it, just reach for the stars and never let go. I should've told you that a long time ago. And when you write an angry letter hold on to it for a day, you might not feel the same in the morning, and NEVER invest in a friend's restaurant, never...
Hal: They should've just fired me! I was a terrible employee. I never read a memo, I came in late, I blew off fridays. What the hell is wrong with those people?
Hal: You know those nature shows where a wasp paralyzes a caterpillar, then injects it full of larvae? It stays alive for weeks, completely aware, feeling every little bite as the larvae devour it from the inside. I sat in a cubicle every day envying that caterpillar, cause at least he got to be on TV. I hated that job. I was a crappy employee.