Hal: [Discipline is suffering while Lois is away at her sister's] You crossed the line, mister. And until further notice, there will be no TV, no computer and no video games, because I am at zero tolerance with you boys. Did you just roll your eyes at me? As long as you are living in this house, I demand your respect.
Malcolm: For what? This house is a pig sty. Everything in the fridge is expired. I found a piece of cake in the shower!
Dewey: That's mine!
Dewey: [the boys are watching TV after their bedtime] How come she's allowed to be naked on the kitchen table, and I'm not?
Reese: Dewey, if a cop tells you to do something, you do it.
Hal: [Enter Hal] What are you boys doing? I told you to go to bed hours ago.
Reese: Actually, Dad, your exact words were just, 'Go to bed'. You didn't say, 'Go to bed now.' If you leave us a loophole like that, I don't see how this can be our fault.