Reese: Dewey. I finally found out why everybody's been giving you money. There's this kid who looks just like you and he's been doing chores for everybody. I knew that everybody must have an evil twin.
Dewey: He's my evil twin?
Reese: No, Dewey, this kid's a saint. You're his evil twin.
Dewey: But, I don't want to be an evil twin.
Reese: Dewey, shut up. This thing involves money and an evil twin. We got to find a way to make this pay off... Let's go watch soap operas.
Otto: [Otto has just learned that neighboring ranchers have torn down his fences again, as Gretchen arrives with lunch] Gretchen, I did not mean for you to see me in my fury.
Gretchen: [Otto is outdoors, dressed only in a speedo, cowboy hat and boots] Otto, I love your fury. Isn't Otto's fury magnificent, Francis?
Francis: I try not to look at his... fury.
Otto: If they tear this one down, we will make them suffer as they have *never* suffered.
Francis: Or we might consider trying to reach a compromise.
Otto: Do I look French to you? No!
Merl: Our ranch has used this trail for over fifty years. We're not about to stop for a bunch of city boys playing 'horsey.'
Francis: Look, just because it's a dude ranch doesn't mean I don't bust my ass the same as you.
[his cell phone suddenly rings, playing 'This old man, he played one... ']
Earl: Hey, cowboy, your fanny-pack's ringing.