Arnold Perlstein: I think Ralphie shouldn't have stayed home today.
Ralphie Tennelli: [after the bus enters his mouth to get to his throat; muffled] Cool. I've never seen that from the outside before.
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: As I always say, for every trip, there's a road map.
Arnold Perlstein: The trick here is, *not* to make eye contact.
Ralphie Tennelli: [pulling back his bandage to reveal his partly clotted scab] Is it just me, or does it say - this way in?
Ralphie Tennelli: [seeing the rest of the class setting up their TV equipment in his room] Is it just me, or is my entire class standing in my room?
Keesha Franklin: The FNN news team is nearing the disaster area.
[the bus plunges down Ralphie's throat to get to his vocal cords]
Keesha Franklin: In a moment we'll have live footage.
Ralphie Tennelli: [typing at his computer; first lines] I told them I'd have an idea for broadcast day.
Ralphie Tennelli: So I'll have an idea for broadcast day.
Ralphie Tennelli: Why don't I have an idea for broadcast day?
Wanda Li: [in shock over Ralphie's absence on broadcast day] We can't do it without him!
Carlos Ramon: And we go on in an hour!
Ralphie Tennelli: If I get an idea, I'll still have time to phone it in.
[continues typing at his computer]
Ralphie Tennelli: That's it, a phone-in!
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: [speaking into a megaphone from the bus] Ah, it was your idea, Ralphie. We're here to get the inside story.
Ralphie Tennelli: Inside story? Inside what? What about broadcast day?
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Think, Ralphie. Where is all the action right now?
Ralphie Tennelli: The action?
[Liz squeezes his nose to try to see what's going on down his throat]
Ralphie Tennelli: Liz, what're you doing? Hang on a second - the action is all inside me. What a great idea. Broadcast day could about what's going on inside me.
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Excellent, Ralphie.
[rolling her tongue]
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Rrrrrrrrrroll tape!
Carlos Ramon: [after Ralphie places the bus next to the partly covered scab on his knee] It's a short cut. Get it, short cut?
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Excellent observation, Carlos. Seatbelts, everyone!
Dorothy Ann: Could we travel through his bloodstream to get to his throat?
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Absolutely, Dorothy Ann.
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: We'll take the Trans-Ralphie Highway System, and here we go! Wahoo!
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Ah, now that we're inside Ralphie's throat tissue, time for some on-the-spot reporting - up close and personal.
Arnold Perlstein: Is Ralphie staying home from school today, Ms. Frizzle?
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Yes, I'm afraid so, Arnold.
Wanda Li: [worrying, then shaking Arnold] What're we gonna do, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Why, we're taking school to him, of course! To the bus!
Ralphie Tennelli: This is Ralphie for FNN News. My entire class has just dived deep into my cut, and it doesn't even hurt!
Tim Jamal: What are those?
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Those are tiny, tiny blood vessels. They're all part of the bloodstream.
[casts a spell to shrink the bus to fit into one of Ralphie's blood vessels]
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Eeny-meeny-miny-moooooooooe!
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: Well, we may have won the battle, class, but he's still fighting the war.
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: [as she enlarges the bus back to its size big enough for everyone else to interview Ralphie one last time, after he sneezes them out] Second floor, boy's socks - going up!
Dorothy Ann: Are we doing broadcast day from Ralphie's room, Ms. Frizzle?
Ms. Valerie Frizzle: What better place to take chances, make mistakes...?
Carlos Ramon: And it sure is - messy!