Maj. Winchester: [Charles is temporarily in charge of the motor pool] Fine job of work, Rizzo. Every valve. Every disc must be removed from the Jeep and placed on the sheet in its assigned order.
Sgt. Luther Rizzo: Major, I don't understand, why am I taking this Jeep apart? It was working just FINE!
[Slams down gasket]
Maj. Winchester: On the sheet, Rizzo. On the sheet. On the sheet. Don't you understand the power you have here? You can take a Jeep apart and reduce it to an inert pile of junk and whenever you want--at a whim-- you can fit it together again and it will roar back to life. If only we could do that with human beings. They wouldn't die.
Father Mulcahy: [Mulcahy is on garbage detail] There just isn't room for anymore.
Col. Sherman Potter: Well, Padre, you gotta ditch it some place. Preferably down wind.
Father Mulcahy: I can't. Winchester has all the transportation lying around in little pieces on bed linen.
Margaret: That's what I want to talk to you about.
Hawkeye: Colonel, the motor pool has been taken completely apart and Klinger has to get to the 8063rd right away.
Col. Sherman Potter: Why?
Hawkeye: Because...It's a long story, but whatever idiot was in charge of the mess tent before I was stuck me with 75 missing trays.
Father Mulcahy: I'm the idiot who stuck you with those trays. And it was 50!
Pvt. Markham: [A GI has just had a near-death experience. Charles is trying to find out what it was like] I really don't understand what you want.
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: When I was very young, my little brother died...I couldn't fully comprehend it at the time. But for months after the....accident, I was unable to pass his room without this...Nameless fear. I would get this, uh, tingling sensation in my chest and my arms. And then yesterday, when I found out that I indeed had come close...Very close to death myself, that sensation returned.
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: But you were there. You were there. If only for a moment, I must know what you felt.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Excuse me, can I see you outside a moment, Doctor?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Yes, of course.
[They walk outside of Post-op]
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Are you alright?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Perfectly.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Nothing is bothering you?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Absolutely nothing.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Then what the hell is the matter with you?! Every time I go into post-op, you're hovering over Markham like a ghoul. That's some graveside manner you've got...
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: As you recall, I am partly responsible for him being alive right now!
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Then let's let him rest in peace.
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Let me ask you a question, Dr. Schweitzer. Can you honestly stand there and tell me you've never wondered what it was like?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: What what was like?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: What that boy went through right there! He was dead. Haven't you the slightest bit of curiosity about what lies beyond?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: No, I figure I'll find out soon enough.
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Well, you may be able to cloak yourself in denial, but I am not afraid to face up to the harshest reality of all.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: [angrily] Let me give you another harsh reality, Doctor. Markham is MY patient. You stay the hell away from him!
Charles: [In a Jeep] Start you fool! START!
Sgt. Luther Rizzo: Major, what are you doing?
Charles: Why won't this idiotic engine turn over?
Sgt. Luther Rizzo: 'Cause, I tucked it into bed on that sheet over there like you told me.
Charles: Well I must have transportation immediately. What's available? Do any of these work?
Sgt. Luther Rizzo: Only the ambulance...
[Charles runs for the ambulance]
Sgt. Luther Rizzo: But that's off limits except in a medical emergency!
Charles: [Climbs in] This IS a medical emergency.
Sgt. Luther Rizzo: Where are you going?
Charles: Battalion Aid!