Klinger happens upon a bottle of vintage French wine and Hawkeye uses it to lure a nurse into his clutches. Winchester deals with Klinger to get more bottles of the wine. Col. Potter trades...
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Klinger happens upon a bottle of vintage French wine and Hawkeye uses it to lure a nurse into his clutches. Winchester deals with Klinger to get more bottles of the wine. Col. Potter trades with the Canadians for a special anesthetic forbidden by the U.S. Army. Written by
The title is a combination of puns. One is based on the act of refusing to testify under oath in a court of law or any other tribunal (such as a Congressional committee) on the grounds that the answers that would be given could be used as evidence against the witness to convict him or her of a criminal offense under the Fifth Amendment of the United States' Constitution. The other is a reference to the old way of measuring alcohol using the English Imperial amounts. Before going to the metric system, large bottles (like a fifth of Scotch) held one-fifth of a gallon. See more »
Before getting the French wine, Klinger has an encounter with the company clerk from a Canadian unit who teases him by reminding him that the Montreal Royals always beat the Toledo Mud Hens. This would be impossible considering that the team played in rival triple A leagues (the Royals in the International League, and the Mud Hens were at the time in the American Association) and never faced each other in a regular or post season game. See more »
Read it out loud, I love the sound of my own skullduggery.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut:
"Savor an evening with Hawkeye Pierce, trade your boredom for some Bordeaux. The epitamy of the vintner's art. In 100 words or less, tell why you should be in a glass by yourself."
Glass by yourself, I love that.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut:
"Please sign a code name so that your anonyminity may be preserved. Decision of the judge will be fine." What if there's a tie?
Duplicate Hawkeyes will be awarded.
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Once again, Hawkeye takes his male chauvinist pig show on the road. He commandeers a bottle of wine which Charles realizes is a fine one. But our inimitable Captain won't let go of it. So he decides to offer it to any nurse is willing to go out with him for a romantic evening. He becomes insufferable. He eventually gets a letter from one who signs herself "Sweet Preserves." Meanwhile, the unit needs curare for an anesthetic which the Army won't give them. They need to tap a Canadian unit where it is legal. Potter and Klinger have to go out and risk their lives to get some of this. Meanwhile, the wine has a curious fate as does Hawkeye.
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