M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Snappier Judgement (1981)

Jamie Farr: Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lt. Rollins : How then do you explain that when the arresting MPs returned with you to that exact spot not 30 minutes later, there was no trace of this "Little Chicago"?

  Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : Uh, they must have packed up and left.

  Lt. Rollins : Oh, come on now, Corporal! Isn't this obviously a case of "res ipsa loquitur"?

  Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : [puzzled]  "Racial Pepsi Cola"?

  Major Charles Winchester : [Stands up]  I must object... *strenously*!

  Col. Drake : On what grounds?

  Major Charles Winchester : Because... uh... have it in a minute.

  [Rummages through papers] 

  Col. Drake : Major, we don't have all day! What is your objection?

  Major Charles Winchester : Just a minute, just a minute.

  [Rummages for a few more seconds, then slams the book down] 

  Major Charles Winchester : Unum pilule acetylsalicylicus, tres in diem, post sebum.

  [Note: Winchester's medical Latin is incorrect; it should be: Unum pilula acidum acetylsalicylicus, tris in die, post cibum] 

  Lt. Rollins : Uhm, forgive my ignorance, Mr. President, but that's a term I'm not familiar with.

  Major Charles Winchester : Oh, don't know it? Hmmm!

  Col. Drake : [Angrily:]  Well, I am. Major, I want you to explain to this court exactly what that means!

  Major Charles Winchester : [Chuckles nervously]  Aspirin, three times a day.

  [Note: the actual translation is: "One pill/tablet of acetylsalicylic acid - i.e. aspirin - three times a day, after meals."]