Father Mulcahy must save the camp's honor in a high-stakes footrace against the 8063rd. Hawkeye, BJ, and Hot Lips each bet on it. Meanwhile, Charles tries to help Private Walter Palmer, a ... See full summary »

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(teleplay by), (teleplay by) | 4 more credits »
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Cast

Episode cast overview, first billed only:
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Maj. Judy Parker
William G. Schilling ...
Sgt. Jessup 'Jesse' McFarland (as William Schilling)
Robert Alan Browne ...
Col. Crocker
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Mark Anderson ...
Pvt. Earl 'Jackrabbit' LeMasters
Michael Conn ...
Ken Wright ...
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Storyline

Father Mulcahy must save the camp's honor in a high-stakes footrace against the 8063rd. Hawkeye, BJ, and Hot Lips each bet on it. Meanwhile, Charles tries to help Private Walter Palmer, a patient who suffers frequent verbal abuse from his fellow soldiers due to a speech impediment. Written by Anonymous

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Genres:

Comedy | Drama | War

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Release Date:

20 December 1982 (USA)  »

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Sound Mix:

(RCA Photophone Sound Recording)

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1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The title comes from the common expression to start a race, "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go." See more »

Goofs

When they are in the bar drinking beer from cans they are aluminum pop tops which did not exist at the time of the Korean War. Three-piece steel cans opened by "churchkey" can openers would have been all they had in that era. See more »

Quotes

Cpt. Sweeney: Hello, boys, how are you feeling? And how about you, Palmer, you nice and comfy?
Pvt. Palmer: Y-y-y-y-yes, sir.
Cpt. Sweeney: Oh that's good. I certainly wouldn't want it bothering you that you almost cost three men their lives.
Pvt. Palmer: Bu-b-b-b-but I-I had no way of knowing that b-b-bedrock w-w-was unstable.
Cpt. Sweeney: Hell, I should've known better than to give any kind of responsibility to a dummy.
Pvt. Palmer: I'm s-s-s-s-s-sorry.
Cpt. Sweeney: Well fat 'lotta good that d-d-d-does.
Charles: Excuse me, Captain Sweeney, may I talk to you for just a moment please?
Cpt. Sweeney: Sure, ...
[...]
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User Reviews

 
The Hare and the Tortoise Redux
4 May 2015 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

This plot is really overused in this series. Father Mulcahy likes to run. He is not fast nor is he gifted athletically, but it helps him blow off steam. When the 4077 finds out that a world class sprinter is joining them, Klinger takes it upon himself to set up some bets with the Marines (a constant annoyance). Unfortunately, it isn't the famous runner; it's his father who bears the same name. They are now in trouble and Klinger's butt is now grass. The Father only agrees to run if the marine engineers build a roof for the orphanage (these unseen orphans are really one of the most interesting aspects of this show). Anyway, Mulcahy must run against a tall toned athlete. The second plot has to do with a young soldier who works for the corps of engineers. He and his peers have been injured when a wall fell. It seems this poor guy is treated as if he is an idiot because he stutters. Charles is incensed by their treatment and goes out of his way for this young man. We find out later that there is a serious reason.


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