M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Old Soldiers (1980)

Mike Farrell: Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Klinger has delivered letters to all the senior staff as per Col. Potter's order] 

  Hawkeye : "You are invited to my tent tomorrow night at 1900 hours. Cordially, Sherman Potter. PS: That's an order." I don't understand.

  Margaret : [entering from another room]  You won't believe what was left on my door.

  BJ : The crowd thickens.

  Hawkeye : Let me guess, does it look like this?

  Margaret : You got one?

  BJ : We all did.

  Mulcahy : [entering from outside]  Hello, all. Say, I just received the most peculiar...

  [they all hold up their own letters] 

  Mulcahy : Oh... does anyone know what this means?

  BJ : I do. We're all invited to Col. Potter's tent for an after-dinner riddle.

  Hawkeye : Klinger, did he say anything to you what he gave these to you?

  Klinger : No. Just ordered me to deliver them and made a beeline for his office with that package he got today.

  Margaret : Package? What was in it?

  Klinger : I don't know, but he's been antsy about getting it ever since the trip to Tokyo. Came from some lawyers.

  Hawkeye : Lawyers? Why would he be hearing from lawyers? Divorce?

  Margaret : That's stupid. Who would divorce that sweet, wonderful man?

  Hawkeye : Maybe it's a lawsuit.

  BJ : Tax problem.

  Charles : Or a will. I don't wish to sound ghoulish and, mind you, I pray I'm assessing the evidence incorrectly, but what if the sick friend with the bad lab report is a ruse and it's Col. Potter who's sick.

  Margaret : No, don't even think that.

  Hawkeye : Let's not jump to conclusions.

  Charles : Agreed, but that would explain the phone call, the trip to Tokyo, his mood and the package from the lawyers.

  BJ : Yes, it would.

  Hawkeye : Look, if he's ill, we'll find out soon enough. I'm sure he'll tell us in his own way.

  Mulcahy : [looks at his letter again]  Maybe he is.

• Hawkeye : Oh, Beej, listen. You hear that?

  BJ : No. I don't hear a sound.

  Hawkeye : Exactly. And that's because, since I assumed the mantle of command, this place has been humming along like a well-oiled marine.

  BJ : Hawk, the only order you've given in two days is for a double scotch.

  Hawkeye : All part of my master plan, leadership by lack of example. I command by doing nothing.

• Col. Sherman T. Potter : The only meat these folks get is horse meat. It sensitizes the whole system. You're using horse serum, aren't you? They're allergic to it.

  Charles : Of course. Given time, I would have deduces the same thing.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I kind of doubt that, Charles. You have absolutely no horse sense.

  BJ : Clomp your foot twice if you disagree.