[Sgt. Zale, drunk, has broken his hand]
B.J.: Congratulations, Sergeant. You've just turned your right hand into a maraca. Once I set it, you can sit in with the relief band.
Zale: How come I don't feel no pain?
B.J.: It's swimming upstream against the bourbon.
B.J.: Hard day at the office?
Hawkeye: I put a colonel back together. I used the spare parts of two majors.
B.J.: Good thinking.
B.J.: Nothing today. Set Sergeant Zale's hand yesterday. Got a "Dear John" from his wife and tried to go ten rounds with the mess tent stove.
B.J.: [asking Hawkeye, after noticing Frank scouring the ground with a metal detector] What's Frank up to?
Hawkeye: I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye: [opens a ceramic pot, and proves to Frank that it wasn't a bomb he saw the Koreans bury] It's a Kimchi pot, Frank. KIMCHI!
[turns to BJ]
Hawkeye: Pickled cabbage. They ferment it in the ground. There's millions of these buried all over Korea!
B.J.: I'd get title to this land, Major. Before word gets out.
Hawkeye: Don't you understand man, you've struck cole slaw!