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"M*A*S*H" None Like It Hot (TV Episode 1978) Poster

(TV Series)

(1978)

Quotes

Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: [Sgt. Rhoden is trying to trade for the bath tub] No deal, Rhoden.

Sergeant Rhoden: Hard sell, huh? Alright, here's something no one can resist...stag films. Guaranteed to make a grown man blush.

[looks at Radar]

Sergeant Rhoden: 'Probably kill you.

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Sergeant Rhoden: Boy I tell ya, I sure am losing my touch. Last war, I talked you down to a can of spam.

Hawkeye: And a can of spam.

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Cpl. Maxwell Klinger: [In an immense heat, Klinger is wearing a rubber body suit] It's the latest reducing suits. I'm getting out of here if I have to go pint by pint.

Col. Sherman Potter: Aren't you getting a little carried away, son?

Cpl. Maxwell Klinger: Oh I hope so, sir. But you alone have the power to save me. Let's face it, would a sane man abuse himself like this?

Radar: Just looking at it makes my eyes woozy.

Col. Sherman Potter: Klinger, this one is definitely in the running.

Cpl. Maxwell Klinger: Oh, be still my sweaty heart, I think I see daylight.

Col. Sherman Potter: By golly, maybe you do. I'll tell you what, if you can stand being in a get-up like that for another 24 hours, you are the craziest man I've ever met.

Cpl. Maxwell Klinger: You mean to say that---

Col. Sherman Potter: I mean to say that whatever is left of you can have that magic Section 8.

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Hawkeye: Can you keep a military secret?

Radar: Anything.

Hawkeye: At the risk of severe personal injury, I'm about to break a sacred vow. Last night, B.J. and I got a very important package from home.

Radar: You mean the bath tub from Abalone & Finch?

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Cpl. Igor Straminsky: Can we move along, sir? We've already had three servers faint from the steam.

Hawkeye: I'll just have the salad. Brown lettuce?? What am I supposed to do with it, eat it or smoke it?

Cpl. Igor Straminsky: You think that's brown? Look at that mayonnaise.

Hawkeye: [dumps his food] Right back at you.

Cpl. Igor Straminsky: You want green, have the liver.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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