- Hawkeye: [celebrating the successful transplant] We made someone who is part George and part Harold.
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: [recovering from donating the blood] And part Winchester.
- Hawkeye: That's right! When he wakes up, he won't know whether to be brave, generous, or pompous.
- Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy: Dear God, I've never asked you for this before, and I don't know what You're going to think of me for asking now. But if you're going to take him anyway, please take him quickly so we can save the other boy.
- Lieutenant Kellye Yamato: I brought the arterial grafts, doctor.
- Hawkeye: Let me see them. No, these are too small. If too much of the aorta is gone we're gonna be in big trouble.
- Lieutenant Kellye Yamato: Well, this one's pretty big.
- Hawkeye: No, that's no bigger than a piece of spaghettini. I need rigatoni.
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Spoken like a true meatball surgeon.
- Lieutenant Kellye Yamato: Rigatoni? Doctor, I'm part Chinese and part Hawaiian. Can you put that in ethnic measurements I can understand?
- Hawkeye: A small eggroll.
- Lieutenant Kellye Yamato: That I understand. We don't have any that big.
- Hawkeye: [to BJ, after BJ runs into OR with the aortic graft] What took so long?
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: The guy it was attached to was still using it.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: Captain, I've gotta know, is there any action in your area?
- Captain at I-Corps: I can only give that information to your commanding officer.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: My CO's in surgery, he can't come on the radio!
- Captain at I-Corps: Sorry, Corporal.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: W-W-Wait a minute, here he comes now!
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: [Klinger takes the phone to the door and slams it, then holds the receiver close to the floor as he stomps, as if Col. Potter is coming to the phone. He then mimics Potter's voice to the captain] What in the name of Sweet Fanny Adams is going on? Can we expect casualties or not?
- Captain at I-Corps: Col. Potter, that you?
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: You bet your horse's hiney!
- Captain at I-Corps: It's all clear, Colonel.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: Good! Now, the next time you get a call from Cpl. Klinger, cooperate! When you're talking to him, you're talking to me!
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Listen Roberts, there's a boy in the O.R. who's gonna die because part of the artery that comes out of his heart has been shot away.
- Roberts: What makes that guy more important than Harold Sherwood?
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: You gotta understand this: most of your friend's brain is gone. He stopped being Harold Sherwood when that shell hit him in the head. He's been dead for half an hour. His heart just didn't know enough to stop beating.
- [Charles is the only one who can give the appropriate blood]
- Hawkeye: Charles, lie down and start bleeding.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: [Demonstrates his - very good - col. Potter impersonation] Once I explained who I was.
- Colonel Sherman T. Potter: [Who just walked in while Klinger was talking] You allright? You sound like a donkey in heat.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: His name was Harold.
- Hawkeye: Who was?
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: The guy the aorta came from.
- Hawkeye: [beginning the transplant] Harold, meet George, George, this is Harold.
- Roberts: God, he was such a good guy. He was so innocent. That's why we called him Harold. We tried calling him Harry a couple times, but it just didn't seem to fit.
- Father Francis Mulcahy: It's such a terrible waste, isn't it?
- Roberts: He was the best guy in the outfit, Father. No matter how bad things got, you could always count on him. Isn't it enough he died? Do they have to cut him up like that?
- Father Francis Mulcahy: Son, let me ask you something. Harold sounds like the kind of a man who gave of himself. Do you think he could've thrown himself on a grenade to save someone else?
- Roberts: Sure he would. He wouldn't even think about it.
- Father Francis Mulcahy: Even if he didn't know the other person?
- Roberts: Sure.
- Father Francis Mulcahy: Well, that's what he's doing now.
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: [during a poker game] May he who brings the flowing waters to the parched desert grant me a small pair of aces.
- [He looks at his cards, disappointed]
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: May the mother of your camel spit in your yogurt.
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: [Klinger carries bags of ice] The iceman cometh.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Put it behind me.
- [a canvas bath is set up behind Hawkeye]
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Let's move this table forward. Get it right up against my legs, right behind my legs.
- [He looks at the small amount of ice]
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: That's all the ice you got?
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: I'm sorry. I'm a desert person.