M*A*S*H: Season 3, Episode 18

House Arrest (4 Feb. 1975)

TV Episode  -   -  Comedy | Drama | War
8.1
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After Hawkeye makes an insulting remark about Margaret, Frank snaps him with a towel and Hawkeye responds with a nicely placed right cross to Frank's eye. Hawkeye is then placed under house... See full summary »

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Title: House Arrest (04 Feb 1975)

House Arrest (04 Feb 1975) on IMDb 8.1/10

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Colonel Reese
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Bobbie Mitchell ...
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Storyline

After Hawkeye makes an insulting remark about Margaret, Frank snaps him with a towel and Hawkeye responds with a nicely placed right cross to Frank's eye. Hawkeye is then placed under house arrest and instead of being treated like a criminal, he is treated like a conquering hero for what he did even to the point of getting some very tasty water buffalo steak and having movies shown in the Swamp. In the meantime, Colonel Reese, the woman in charge of all the nurses in Korea, arrives to observe Margaret and her staff and, for some strange reason, becomes attracted to Frank and tries to seduce him. Also, Radar begins acting very strangely, even having the hem in his pants let out two inches. Written by Brian Washington <Sargebri@att.net>

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Genres:

Comedy | Drama | War

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Release Date:

4 February 1975 (USA)  »

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Sound Mix:

(RCA Photophone Sound Recording)

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1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The movie being shown in the Swamp is Leave Her to Heaven (1945). See more »

Goofs

Frank Burns accuses Hawkeye Pierce of assault "under the Articles of War." Congress passed the updated military disciplinary statutes, the "Uniform Code of Military Justice" on 5 May 50 and they became operative on 31 May 51. Given that this episode airs in the series' 4th year of existence, it could be assumed that the conflict had passed the effective date for the UCMJ (active combat having started 25 June 50). See more »

Quotes

Frank Burns: I have got oak leaves on my shoulders.
Henry Blake: And I've got dimples on my butt.
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Connections

Features Leave Her to Heaven (1945) See more »

Soundtracks

Back in the Saddle Again
(uncredited)
Written by Gene Autry and Ray Whitley
Performed by Mary Wickes
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User Reviews

 
Infantile Behavior.
15 October 2014 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

This is one of the worst episodes of the series, so I'm going to try hard to review it without completely blowing a gasket. It all began when Hot Lips was all aflutter for a visiting colonel, and a female colonel at that. She kept fumbling up in O.R., so Hawkeye sends her out. They get into an argument in the scrub room, and she tells Frank to do something about it. What can he do? Well, he childishly takes a towel and snaps Hawkeye with it. Now, Hawkeye could have been a man and ignored this, figuring this simpleton isn't worth any kind of retaliation, but no, instead he rears back and punches him. Right away, he and Trapper deny any assault took place, but Frank still wants a court martial. Henry is reluctant, because of the paperwork and having to actually do his job and all, but Frank insists, and while the papers are drawn up, Hawkeye is placed under house arrest, which he absolutely adores. Father Mulcahy brings him a prisoners-of-war care-package and the cook makes him a genuine steak to thank him for hitting Burns.

Colonel Reese eventually shows up. She isn't the model of perfection Hot Lips was hoping for, but rather a wise-cracking, flirtatious shrew who takes quite a shine to Frank. By the way, before I continue, there's a subplot about Radar buying altered pants and elevator shoes because he's tired of all the height insults he gets. I think this would have been a more appropriate A plot instead of a B, but I'm not the idiots who wrote this. So anyway, they decide to show the movie in the Swamp so Hawkeye can see it, and everybody crowds in the tent, while Frank goes to look to Hot Lips and instead finds Reese in her tent. The colonel flirts with Burns and promises big things for him, and so they get into the throes of intimacy, but when Hot Lips walks in on them, this happens: Colonel Reese screams "Rape!" This gets everyone's attention, particularly Trapper being excited about going to a rape. So now the bitch colonel wants to file charges on Frank for no reason and Hot Lips lies about the scrub room incident, so now Hawkeye is found innocent and Frank is under house arrest.

Oh, House Arrest, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways: 1) Horrible script by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum. Whoever said they were the show's best writers doesn't know his ass from his elbow. I could've written a better script than this. 2) Horrible direction by Hy Averback. 3) Horrible acting. Everybody phoned this one in, especially Mary Wickes. 4) Horrible all-around idea. For the love of God, why did they think this was a good idea?! Frank Burns getting punched, not that didn't deserve it, then Hawkeye going under house arrest and everybody treating him like a victim, then this Colonel Reese bitch coming in and accusing Frank of rape, getting him in trouble for no reason! This blows my mind on so many levels. I HATE this episode! I HATE, HATE, HATE it with a fiery passion and I advise all M*A*S*H fans to avoid it. If you like this or thought it was funny, you're sick. This was the meanest, most unfair display I have ever seen. So what if Frank is a Class-A dick, he was still treated unfairly here. Viewers, again, stay away from this garbage! It will make you very angry and curse the day you first laid eyes on it. I can't put into words how acrimonious it's made me. Screw you, House Arrest!


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