M*A*S*H: Season 9, Episode 12

Depressing News (9 Feb. 1981)

TV Episode  |  TV-PG  |   |  Comedy, Drama, War
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Ratings: 7.5/10 from 121 users  
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When a supply snafu brings too many tongue depressors to camp, Hawkeye uses the extras to erect a monument to the wounded who have passed through camp. Klinger starts his own camp newspaper.


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Episode cast overview:
William Bogert ...
David Dozer ...


After placing an order for 5,000 tongue depressors, the 4077th receives 500,000. Hawkeye decides to use every single one of them to erect a monument to Army inefficiency, and dedicate it to all the brave men and women who have passed through, while Klinger presses his luck when he starts a printing press. Written by <Explorerds6789>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Comedy | Drama | War





Release Date:

9 February 1981 (USA)  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs


Sound Mix:

(RCA Photophone Sound Recording)


Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
See  »

Did You Know?


At one point when Hawkeye is walking with B.J. across the compound, Hawkeye can briefly be seen wearing bright blue '80s Adidas tennis shoes. See more »


Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: [Upon seeing the dozens of tongue depressor boxes] Oh, the new neighbors must be moving into that vacant tent down the block.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Gee, I hope they have some kids my age.
Colonel Sherman T. Potter: There is no humor in this, gents. That dumb trucker just stuck us with five hundred thousand tongue depressors.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: [laughing] No wonder you look so down in the mouth.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Five hundred thousand?
Colonel Sherman T. Potter: I'm getting' too old for this. I should've taken the severance pay in twenty-eight, started that dude ranch. Damn zoning laws.
See more »

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User Reviews

The News is Tongue Depressing
24 April 2015 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

Klinger decides to create a camp newspaper, MASH notes. He sells subscriptions and enlists people in the unit to write for him. His tactics are over the top. Meanwhile, instead of 5000 tongue depressors being sent to the 4077, 500,000 arrive instead. Hawkeye decides it's a metaphor for all the young people who have been through the camp. He decides to use the sticks to build a monument. Suddenly, he achieves some celebrity and finds that this kind of publicity isn't all that great. A reporter and his cameraman come and try to use his monument as a recruiting tool. This is the last thing that Pierce wants. Klinger continues but unfortunately he is a little hasty in his editing and proofreading.

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