- Lovejoy: [Aside to audience about his unjust sentence on prison farm] You could argue, I suppose, that I've done a few shady things in the past, so it all equals out, but you didn't have to spend eight months here sleeping next to a tattooed biker called Mavis.
- Lady Jane Felsham: [to Lovejoy] You've always been broke, and you've always had a tarnished reputation.
- Lady Jane Felsham: You see he's always promised it to this ghastly lady novelist, Harriet Barker.
- Lovejoy: Oh, i read one of novels in the nick. Torrid stuff, Jance. Eeech! There's so much sex she obviously wasn't getting any.