The Love Boat (1977–1987)
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The Joker Is Mild/Take My Granddaughter, Please/First Time Out 

Has-been comic Barry Keys asks Julie to let him entertain on board to return a favor. Mrs. Warner is determined to marry off her granddaughter Shirley. College pals bet on whether virginal Dan changes his status before the cruise ends.


, (as Tony DiMarco) | 5 more credits »

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Episode cast overview:
Shirlee Warner (as Patty Duke Astin)
Barry Keys
Mrs. Warner
Dave King
Barbara Holmes
John Mark Robinson ...
W.K. Stratton ...
Meegan King ...
Robert Hackman ...
Freddy Stevens - Booking Agent (as Bob Hackman)


Ruth Gordon is the meddling grandmother to exasperated Patty Duke Astin and she is determined to marry off her granddaughter and quickly. An old and forgotten comedian (Phil Foster) asks cruise director Julie (Lauren Tewes) to let him do a stand-up bit in the showroom, to repay a debt of her dad, who he assisted once. Four college buddies are on board and they are kidding and placing bets as to whether the one who is a virgin (Robert Hegyes) will be able to change his status before the ship docks back in San Pedro; the virgin (Hegyes) and a fellow passenger (Maureen McCormick get together and he must decide whether to have sex in order to win the bet. Written by lemoviecritic

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis


Comedy | Drama | Romance




Release Date:

29 October 1977 (USA)  »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs


Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


The segment title is based upon Henny Youngman's signature joke, "Now take my wife. Please!" See more »


References The Ed Sullivan Show (1948) See more »

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User Reviews

Lacks Excitement
21 June 2015 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

The Joker is Mild/First Time Out/Take My Granddaughter, Please is the 6th episode of the first season of The Love Boat. The guest stars include Phil Foster, Robert Hegyes, Ruth Gordon, Patty Duke and Maureen McCormick.

One of the three subplots of the episode includes a faded comedian who happens to be an old friend of Julie's father try to revive his comedic career by showcasing his talent at the ship's showroom.

Another subplot includes a woman who tries to match her granddaughter by pushing her to date Doctor Adam Bicker or Doc.But she obviously wants to have romance with an old friend.

Finally,we get to see a college student try to lose his virginity before the cruise returns to the shore as his fraternity brothers pressure him to do so.

The episode overall seemed standard to the point that it lacks excitement and at some points dull and boring.Even Doc's involvement as a ladies man did not generate interest at all.And so were the guest stars.

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