Clerk: And it seems that there's been a mistake on your bill.
Lou Grant: How can that be? I'm just now checking in.
Clerk: I don't know. But it says here that a waiter overcharged you five dollars on your bar bill this noon. We've given you a credit.
Lou Grant: I wasn't here this noon.
Clerk: Oh? Isn't this your signature?
Lou Grant: No. It's my name, but it's not my signature.
Clerk: Oh, how embarrassing.
Joe Rossi: Oh, that's not gonna work, Billie, you can't penetrate that network, they're so paranoid.
Billie Newman: Well, if you blunder in, you might scare them off. But there are some people on this paper that know a thing or two about finesse.
Joe Rossi: Who?
[Billie opens her mouth to answer, then thinks better of it]
Jack Riley: Now, now, Lou, let's try to be fair and just here.
Lou Grant: If we wanted to be fair and just here, Jack, the cops would've arrested you.
Jack Riley: Yeah, well, let's just remember who was right about that waiter, Lou, you heard it here first.
Lou Grant: Yeah, big deal, once in twenty years you're on the level.
Jack Riley: You know, you wound me when you talk that way.
Charlie Hume: How can I relax? Not only might there be a kidnapping tonight, but I haven't been able to line up a speaker. I mean, what, what's everybody gonna say when I get up there tonight and say "Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, we haven't got a closing speaker".
Lou Grant: They'll probably give you a standing ovation.
Charlie Hume: Oh.
Lou Grant: Maybe even carry you out of the room on their shoulders.