Clark Kent: Hey, Lois, what have we got going on tomorrow?
Lois Lane: Now there you're using that word again Clark. There is "you'. There is "I'. There is no "we".
Clark Kent: Not yet.
Lois Lane: Not ever.
Clark Kent: We'll see.
Lois Lane: How long can you hold your breath?
Clark Kent: A very long time.
Lois Lane: I stole it. I have never stolen a story before in my life. How could I do that? It's him. It's Superman. I mean, ever since he held me in his arms, there's something between us, Lucy. I know it. There's this connection.
Lucy Lane: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Lois Lane: I am ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed of myself.
Lucy Lane: And you'll never do it again?
Lois Lane: I won't. Never again.
Lucy Lane: And you'll apologize to Clark Kent?
Lois Lane: Not in this millennium.
Monique: Let me hire a couple of shooters and I'll turn Superman into a large wet spot. Testing won't be necessary.
Lex Luthor: Have you ever read Sun Tzu's "The Art of War"?
Monique: I'm waiting for the Reader's Digest version.
Lex Luthor: Sun Tzu was a general od ancient imperial China, and he teaches us, paraphrasing, of course, 'Knowledge precedes victory, ignorance precedes defeat'.
Monique: Really? Well, an uzi precedes a bloody mess, even in China.
Cat Grant: "We" I like the sound of that. We. Isn't that French for "yes?"
Clark Kent: Ahem. Not in Smallville.
Lois Lane: I should have the exclusive on the follow-up. Those are the rules.
Perry White: The rules are off. This is too big.
Lois Lane: But he's mine! He's mine!
[realizes she's sounding desperate]
Lois Lane: As in my story, story mine.
Martha Kent: [about a spot Clark's trying to get out of his cape] Clark, is it a dirt stain or an oil based stain?
Clark Kent: I don't know, Mom. It's a bomb stain.
Lois Lane: What we've got here is an example of human evolution. Clark is the before, Superman is the after.
[glances at Clark, who is eating a doughnut and looking disheveled]
Lois Lane: Make that the way, way after.
Lois Lane: [about Superman] He has no reason to hide. Especially from me.
Cat Grant: Wait a minute. I get it. You and Superman joined the old zero-gravity club up on the space station, didn't you?
Lois Lane: Sure, Clark, and when you run across Jimmy Hoffa and the Easter Bunny, why don't you reel them in, too.
Lex Luthor: We know Superman can jump high but is he, say, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Is he more powerful than a locomotive?
Jimmy Olsen: [Lois walks in covered in dirt with a broken heal on her shoe] Lois, are you all right?
Lois Lane: Yeah. I'm fine. Oh, you're referring to my appearance. Well after hours of trudgeing through the muck and the frogs and the *things* I think I have a perfect right to look a bit disheveled. By the way did you know that it was possible to get *completely* lost at the Metropolis Sewer Reclamation Facility?
Lois Lane: [unfolding the note that sent her on a wild goose chase after she stole stories from a couple of people] You wouldn't happen to know who sent me this?
Lois Lane: [sees the latest edition of the Planet on his desk] You? *You* got the story?
Clark Kent: Consider it a life lesson, Lois. No charge.
Lois Lane: [frantically bursts into Clark's new apartment looking for Superman as Clark is signing the lease] All right, where is he?
Clark Kent: [startled] Where is who?
Lois Lane: [looks around her, then] Where am I?
Clark Kent: My new apartment.
[Lois pauses, then turns and leaves in a very dignified manner]